Maiko Sakai, quiz strategy expert, told a story that’s stuck with me. It’s about someone who desired to lose weight. At first the person who wanted to shed a few pounds gave all the standard reasons. They wanted to feel better, have more energy, be more fun with their family. But as the conversation continued, it came out that what the person really wanted was to look good for an upcoming family reunion and make their cousins jealous.
Now if you’re sitting there nodding your head in agreement, that’s empathy. Because that person’s story is highly relatable and we’ve all been there in some way shape or form. At first we want to give a socially correct answer for our motivations, but then once we’re comfortable we give the underlying motives.
Research shows that “Daily social experiences, such as felt understanding, are associated with daily well-being, particularly for individuals with greater interdependent self-construal.” It’s actually important to our well-being that we feel understood for who we are and what we are thinking.
Further research shows that in order to make someone feel truly understood online you have to satisfy two criteria.
- Empathic Accuracy: Meaning that your intuition about what the other person (the quiz taker) is thinking, has to be accurate.
- Supportiveness: Your response to what the other person is experiencing must be supportive.
I love that there’s evidence for this now, because it shows in data what companies who have been using quizzes for years have already found out. Which is that if you can accurately guess what your audience is thinking, meet them where they are, and show support, you have a goldmine for conversion. Not because of some nefarious means, but because you actually took the time to understand the audience and support them in getting what they want.
Words that Signal Empathy
The following is an analysis of words contained in quiz titles that have high empathy scores. These are words you can use to signal empathy at an immediate glance so people know what to expect. Word choice matters a lot in signaling empathy, and these words have been shown to help people connect with you.
- Your / You – Personalization that makes the quiz feel more individual and relatable.
- Type – Suggests understanding individual differences.
- Find / Discover – Encourages exploration and personal growth.
- How – Implies seeking understanding or solutions.
- Quiz / Assessment / Test – Invites self-reflection.
- Sensitivity / Attachment / Immaturity / Sensory – Acknowledges emotional and personal aspects.
- Personality / Tendencies / Traits – Focus on individual characteristics.
- Habits / Regimen / Style – Reflects on personal preferences and choices.
Tone to Signal Empathy
Analyzing the tone of top quizzes, we see some commonalities that help to immediately signal empathy to the quiz taker. Speaking in this style makes the quiz taker feel comfortable and safe experiencing your quiz and taking advice from you.
- Acknowledgment of Feelings: Recognizing and validating the reader’s emotions and experiences, showing understanding and acceptance of their challenges and fears.
- Reassurance and Support: Offering comfort and encouragement, suggesting that it’s okay to make mistakes and emphasizing that progress is possible.
- Encouragement: Motivating the reader by highlighting their strengths and potential for growth, providing hope and positivity.
- Validation: Recognizing common struggles, making the reader feel seen and understood, which creates a sense of connection and compassion.
How to Research Empathy for Your Customer Base
Based on 100’s of conversations with people who have created highly successful quizzes for their businesses, a pattern has emerged as to where they source their quiz empathy from. It’s not surprising…the place where top quiz creators get the empathy for their quiz idea is from direct messages or in-person conversations where people ask them the same question(s) over and over again.
Specifically it’s the one-on-one format that tells you what your customer base is truly thinking about. In a public forum people are too caught up in what they “should” be thinking about or asking. But that’s not what we’re after to create the ideal quiz. We’re after the question they will only ask you one-on-one, the question they really want to know the answer to.
Case in point, Erin McGoff, founder of Advice With Erin, said that literally millions of people have asked her if they are in the right career, or why they feel “off” about the career they are in. Her quiz has generated more then 140,000 new leads for her business, so it’s working insanely well. But it all started from a channel of communication, the DM, where people asked her the question that was really on their minds.
Examples of Quizzes Showing Empathy
Empathy is something you know when you see. It’s obvious when you feel it, and immediately recognizable to the quiz taker. Let’s look at some quiz examples that have really dialed in empathy to see how it works. I’m also going to throw in another word – compassion, meaning “to suffer alongside.” By suffering I don’t just mean the negative connotation of the word, but also the positive. You can suffer towards a goal together, you can suffer through hardship together, whatever it is you are trying to accomplish, it is done together.
Job Corps – Let’s Help You Get Confident in Your Career
For each of these examples, we’ll be examining their empathy through the scale of researchers Jinjuan Feng, Jonathan Lazar, and Jenny Preece, from their paper on online trust and empathy.
Empathic Accuracy: This quiz identifies that the people who are taking it, job seekers looking to Federal Government resources for finding a job, are wanting to be successful in their careers, but aren’t feeling that way. The empathic accuracy is there because the creator of the quiz, Job Corps, has identified that people are struggling to feel confidence in their career.
Supportiveness: A mentor of mine once told me “the best apology is one you don’t have to say” because you are actually acknowledging what happened and offering a path forward. The same is true for the lack of confidence in a setting like career. The best way to address it is by not dwelling on the lack, but rather focusing on the path forward. In that way, this quiz is highly supportive.
Salary Transparent Street – Let’s Help You Get Paid
Empathic Accuracy: Locked in. Salary Transparent Street creates street interviews asking people about their salaries, but they know that what everyone is thinking as they watch those videos is “Am I Getting Paid Enough?” which is honestly fascinating because I wouldn’t have guessed that, but it is empathically accurate.
Supportiveness: Absolutely. “Let’s find out together whether you’re being underpaid.” that puts the creator of the quiz in the same boat as the quiz taker, as equals in one regard, as an expert guide at the same time. Definitely checks the box for supportiveness.
Dr. Tracy Dagleish – Let’s Help You Move Forward
Empathic Accuracy: Adam Alter’s best selling book, Anatomy of a Breakthrough, presents a lot of research showing that all people feel stuck in some areas of life at all times. He highlights the story of Oscar winner Brie Larson, who has been open about the percentage of her life which she considers to be “stuck” and it’s over 99%. Dr. Tracy Dagleish addresses this directly with her quiz about relationships, and the empathic resonance is strong.
Supportiveness: Dr. Tracy shows support by coming alongside to reach a mutual goal of getting the quiz taker past their feeling of stuck-ness. This is the best way to show support because it’s the equivalent of a friend showing up for you, not even asking you to say thank you, and helping you.
Take the Relationship Quiz here.
Jenna Kutcher – Let’s Help You Reach Your Full Potential
Empathic Accuracy: This quiz addresses the human side of building a business. Sure, you need tactics and strategies, but you also need confidence to build a successful company. Jenna Kutcher, one of the original pioneers in creating successful empathic quizzes, cemented her legacy in the quiz world with this quiz that offers to help people find their secret sauce. It resonated with people a lot, leading to 100,000+ subscribers joining her email list.
Supportiveness: Think about the framing here, it’s like a friend sitting down with you and helping you identify what makes you unique and special in a certain area where you really want to succeed. How good does that feel? And how supported do you feel by your friend in that scenario? 100%
Take the Secret Sauce Quiz here.
Gretchen Rubin – Let’s Help You Increase Your Happiness
Empathic Accuracy: Of course everyone wants to be happier, and Gretchen Rubin is one of the best in the world at understanding how to speak to that desire in a way that’s empathic. The quiz here, based on Gretchen’s book The Four Tendencies, addresses happiness through the lens of your tendency, and it’s spot-on.
Supportiveness: Honestly if you want to learn supportive communication, read Gretchen’s books. She is an expert in supportive communication, and every word fits into place in such a way as to make the quiz taker feel supported.
Take The Four Tendencies Quiz here.
The Stylish Bride – Let’s Help You Feel Confident
Empathic Understanding: Asking questions about confidence when discussing a bridal gown makes a lot of sense. Of course you’d want to feel confident in your dress, so asking about that is totally logical.
Supportiveness: This quiz takes a more holistic approach, which definitely aids in the overall supportiveness, because a wedding dress isn’t just a dress, it’s a representation of a lot of life all in one.
Take the Wedding Dress Quiz here.
The Sorority Nutritionist – Let’s Help You Figure out Weight Loss
Empathic Understanding: Resonance with frustration, in a light-hearted way. The Sorority Nutritionist does a great job in this quiz of making people feel seen in their frustration “Why is my weight loss a hot mess?!” but they also keep it light with the language choice, very empathetic.
Supportiveness: Meeting people where they are and creating emotional resonance is the definition of supportive, so yes, this quiz accomplishes that aim.
Take the Weight Loss Quiz here.
Mrs. Dow Jones – Let’s Help You Figure Out Money
Empathic Understanding: 2/3 people would rather talk about their weight than their money. That’s wild, but when you make a quiz that is empathetic to your audience like Mrs. Dow Jones did, you can still talk about money without making people feel so uncomfortable they leave the room. Very well done here and truly matches the definition of empathy in quiz form.
Supportiveness: Most people want to be better with money, or at least to have more of it. So by offering an empathic solution, where you as the quiz taker feel comfortable, a money quiz is perfectly supportive.
Take the Mrs. Dow Jones Money Quiz here.
Conclusion: Identify your customers’ “Secret Desires” and be their guide to getting those desires.
Thank you to Mako Sakai for coining the term “Secret Desires” because I think it perfectly encapsulates what empathy is all about. It’s about seeing your customers for who they are and what they truly want, then offering to help them get those things in a way that’s empathically accurate and supportive.