Dangerous Love Conflict Styles Assessment

Quiz Questions

• 1.
  Pick below the answer that best suits you:

  • A.
    I tend to take a step back from conflict and let problems work themselves out
  • B.
    It’s important the both my needs and others needs are met in conflict
• 2.
  Pick below the answer that best suits you:

  • A.
    I prefer negotiation to reach an agreement. 
  • B.
    Both people should feel satisfied with the solution to a problem.
• 3.
  Pick below the answer that best suits you:

  • A.
    The best way to handle conflict is to go after what you want
  • B.
    The best way to end conflict is to give others what they need
• 4.
  Pick below the answer that best suits you:

  • A.
    I prefer negotiation to reach an agreement. 
  • B.
    When conflict arises, I like others to get what they want, even if it means I have to sacrifice a little.
• 5.
  Pick below the answer that best suits you:

  • A.
    It makes me uncomfortable to be in the same space with people I’m in conflict with
  • B.
    Conflict is an opportunity to find creative solutions to problems
• 6.
  Pick below the answer that best suits you:

  • A.
    Sometimes it’s better to not discuss conflict 
  • B.
    Its important that others understand my needs
• 7.
  Pick below the answer that best suits you:

  • A.
    When possible I try to avoid the stress that comes with conflict.
  • B.
    I am okay giving some things up if others also have to give things up.
• 8.
  Pick below the answer that best suits you:

  • A.
    The best way to handle conflict is to go after what you want.
  • B.
    Others need to be willing to give up things to get what they want.
• 9.
  Pick below the answer that best suits you:

  • A.
    Talking too much about the conflict can make things worse
  • B.
    Persuading others that I’m right is important to me
• 10.
  Pick below the answer that best suits you:

  • A.
    The best way to handle conflict is to go after what you want
  • B.
    I prefer negotiation to reach an agreement.
• 11.
  Pick below the answer that best suits you:

  • A.
    Persuading others that I’m right is important to me
  • B.
    The best way to end conflict is to give others what they need
• 12.
  Pick below the answer that best suits you:

  • A.
    I try to stay away from drama when possible
  • B.
    I feel a need for things to be fair
• 13.
  Pick below the answer that best suits you:

  • A.
    I feel the best way to reach a solution is just to split the difference
  • B.
    You should never compromise your opinions or wants
• 14.
  Pick below the answer that best suits you:

  • A.
    When a conflict arises, it’s important that I find a solution with the other party as soon as possible
  • B.
    Its important that others understand my needs
• 15.
  Pick below the answer that best suits you:

  • A.
    The best way to end conflict is to give others what they need
  • B.
    It makes me uncomfortable to be in the same space with people I’m in conflict with
• 16.
  Pick below the answer that best suits you:

  • A.
    I sometimes feel guilty asking for or getting what I want
  • B.
    Giving in to others can be perceived as weak
• 17.
  Pick below the answer that best suits you:

  • A.
    Persuading others that I’m right is important to me
  • B.
    Talking too much about conflict can make things worse
• 18.
  Pick below the answer that best suits you:

  • A.
    I feel a need for things to be fair
  • B.
    When conflict arises, I like others to get what they want, even if it means I have to sacrifice a little
• 19.
  Pick below the answer that best suits you:

  • A.
    Talking too much about the conflict can make things worse
  • B.
    I am okay giving some things up if others also have to give things up
• 20.
  Pick below the answer that best suits you:

  • A.
    Other people’s needs are equally as important as mine
  • B.
    Others need to be willing to give up things to get what they want
• 21.
  Pick below the answer that best suits you:

  • A.
    I try to make sure everyone’s concerns are met when trying to solve problems
  • B.
    You should never compromise your opinions or wants
• 22.
  Pick below the answer that best suits you:

  • A.
    The best way to handle conflict is to make known my needs and wants
  • B.
    The best way to reach a solution is just to split the difference
• 23.
  Pick below the answer that best suits you:

  • A.
    Saying no to someone in conflict can hurt the relationship
  • B.
    I tend to take a step back from conflict and let problems work themselves out
• 24.
  Pick below the answer that best suits you:

  • A.
    When choosing between my needs and others, it’s better to give others what they need first
  • B.
    Everyone in conflict should win a little and lose a little
• 25.
  Pick below the answer that best suits you:

  • A.
    Persuading others that I’m right is important to me
  • B.
    I try to make sure everyone’s concerns are met when trying to solve problems
• 26.
  Pick below the answer that best suits you:

  • A.
    Saying 'no' to someone in conflict can hurt the relationship
  • B.
     I feel a need for things to be fair
• 27.
  Pick below the answer that best suits you:

  • A.
    Sometimes it’s better not to discuss the conflict
  • B.
    Sometimes, to get peace, you have to be willing to give up what you want
• 28.
  Pick below the answer that best suits you:

  • A.
    You should never compromise your opinions or wants
  • B.
    Conflict is an opportunity to find creative solutions to problems
• 29.
  Pick below the answer that best suits you:

  • A.
    I feel the best way to reach a solution is to split the difference
  • B.
    Sometimes it’s better to not discuss the conflict
• 30.
  Pick below the answer that best suits you:

  • A.
    When conflict arises, I like others to get what they want, even if it means I have to sacrifice a little
  • B.
    Both people should feel satisfied with the solution to a problem

Quiz Outcomes

• 1.
  Avoidance

  With the avoidance conflict style, you tend to take a step back in conflict and either let others handle it or let the conflict work itself out. You often feel uncomfortable in conflict and hide in it's face. You yearn for spaces that lack tension and try to steer away from drama. When using the avoidance style of conflict, you feel it is better to not discuss the conflict, and in fact discussing the conflict may actually make things worse. You feel that the conflict can add stress to your life that you'd rather avoid. This conflict style may be useful in times of high tension, when you or others in conflict may need space or separation. Choosing the avoidance conflict style fulfills the need of feeling protected. With this conflict style you may employ the smog view of conflict in that you may feel conflict is dangerous to the relationship.
• 2.
  Accommodation

  With the accommodation conflict style, you find that the best way to end conflict is to give the other party what they want or need. You are willing to sacrifice your positions, values, or views to keep the peace with the other party. This often looks like always saying yes, giving in when others push back, or feeling like you won't be liked or appreciated if you disagree or speak what's on your mind. With this conflict style you feel that sometimes to get peace, you have to be willing to give up what you want. For you, it is better to give others what they need first, before choosing to satisfy your own needs or wants. It may at times feel like saying 'no' will hurt the relationship. The need that employing this conflict style fulfills is the need to be liked. With this conflict style, you may employ the smog view of conflict in that you may see your own needs, desires, or wants as dangerous to the relationship. This conflict style may lead to de-escalation in a conflict, but will not lead to long term solutions if used continuously.
• 3.
  Competition

  With the competitive conflict style, you feel like the best way to handle conflict is to go after what you want. In conflict, your values or needs are very important to you and you want to make sure others are aware of where you are coming from. You feel like you should never compromise your opinions or wants. Another behavior of the competitive conflict style is persuading others that you are right. It is really important that others are on the same page with you and see why you have the opinions that you do. It is important that you don't give in to others for the fear of being seen as or feeling weak. With this conflict style you may argue, debate, or try to win the conflict. This conflict style fulfills the need of being right. Using competition, you may employ the smog view of conflict in that you may feel that others needs or desires are dangerous to the relationship. This conflict style may come in useful in addressing the conflict sooner rather than later. However, the competitive conflict style can lead to escalation and not reaching a sustainable solution for all parties.
• 4.
  Compromise

  With the compromise conflict style, you may feel the need for things to be fair. You may feel okay giving up some of your needs, wants or desires, if the other person is also willing to do so. Everyone in conflict should win a little and lose a little. In conflict you often employ the act of negotiation to reach a solution. You are also willing to discuss positions as well as values but ultimately find that the best way to resolve a conflict is by splitting the difference. This conflict style satisfies your need for things to be fair. This conflict style may also employ the smog view of conflict in the sense that both parties have to lose a little in order to reach a fair outcome. This style may not yield sustainable results because each party has had to lose a little of what is important to them.
• 5.
  Collaboration

  With the collaborative conflict style you are concerned about and value the needs of both yourself and others. You seek for and participate in creative problem solving and believe that the only way to transform the conflict is making sure everyone's needs are met. You have a willingness to engage with others even if you don't agree with them. The need that you are fulfilling by using the collaborative conflict style is the need for a relationship. You understand that in conflict, it is of utmost important to nurture, heal or transform the relationship you have with others. With the collaborative conflict style, you will employ the Cocoon perspective of conflict meaning you believe conflicts can be transformed together and solutions can be created that satisfy needs and desires of all involved. While this conflict style may result in immense time and effort towards the transformation of the conflict, it is a sustainable approach to working through conflict.