How Can You Best Love Someone You Care For?

Quiz Questions

• 1.
  What is the biggest issue in your relationship with this person?

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  • A.
    They are constantly trying to do things that aren't good ideas
  • B.
    They are bummed out and sad a lot 
  • C.
    They have a lot going on in their life right now
  • D.
    They are always complaining about the same problems
• 2.
  How does this relationship affect your life?

  • A.
    It's been really hard to see them going through things that aren't their fault
  • B.
    It hurts to see them so down and I don't know what to do
  • C.
    I try to warn them and help them but they keep making choices that aren't good
  • D.
    They are constantly complaining and it gets annoying sometimes
• 3.
  Who is this person in your life?

  • A.
    A family member
  • B.
    A friend 
• 4.
  How close are you and this person?

  • A.
    We are very close
  • B.
    We are close but I wish we were closer
  • C.
    Pretty close, I've known them my whole life
  • D.
    Not very
• 5.
  Which would they appreciate the most?

  • A.
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    Tickets for us to go to a concert or show together
  • B.
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    A night of just us two drinking and talking about life
  • C.
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    Throwing a birthday party for them
  • D.
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    A plane ticket for them to go somewhere they always wanted
• 6.
  When you argue with this person what is it usually about?

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  • A.
    A choice they made that I don't agree with
  • B.
    A recurring problem that they don't do anything about
  • C.
    Broken promises or hurtful words
  • D.
    We haven't really argued, maybe just a disagreement
• 7.
  Do you enjoy spending time with this person? 

  • A.
    Yes, we always have a good time
  • B.
    I do, or used to but there are always so many problems
  • C.
    I do, but I don't feel that they enjoy spending time with me
  • D.
    Not really to be honest 
• 8.
  Do they feel understood by you?

  • A.
    No, they have told me many times that I don't understand them
  • B.
    A little. They know I try even though I can't understand them fully
  • C.
    Somewhat. They like to talk to me about their problems
  • D.
    Yes, they like to get my opinion on things due to our similar views of the world

Quiz Outcomes

• 1.
  Be their friend 

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  This person needs someone to enjoy life with. Someone who they can laugh and go on adventures with. Someone who understands them and doesn't judge them if they make a mistake or do something they shouldn't. True friendship is one the greatest gifts life provides. Friends can come and go, but if we are blessed and work at it, there may be some friendships that can last a lifetime. These can be the greatest blessings because that person knows the real you and you can fully be yourself when you are with them. Try to be that kind of friend for the person you care about. And remember, some friendships are just meant to last for a season. You may be very close while you are in college together, but after graduation you may only see each other once in a while or just on social media. Just because you've grown apart doesn't mean you can't still be a great friend. Encourage them, inspire them and be there if they need someone to talk to.
• 2.
  Love them unconditionally

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  Right now the person you care for is going through some stuff and just needs to know that you love them no matter what. They may have made some mistakes or maybe they had a trauma happen. This can cause them to do things that are out of their normal character. Their thoughts might be all over the place and sometimes they might wonder if anyone really cares for them. What they need is reassurance that you still love them and always will no matter what happens. This kind of love is the toughest to give but the most rewarding. It takes sacrifice and perseverance. You may not always feel like they appreciate you but deep down, they probably are grateful you are in their life, they just don't always know how or have the energy to show it.
• 3.
  ​Listen to them

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  Listening to people, especially when they talk about the same things over and over, can be easier said than done. We are also tempted to give advice when it's not asked for and sometimes even get kinda upset if the person doesn't take it. Sometimes people just need to vent and the best thing you can do is open your ears and shut your mouth to allow them to express what they feel needs to be said. If they don't ask for advice then sometimes its best to not give any. Just let them know you are there for them. The great thing about listening is many times the person already knows what they need to do, they just need to figure it out for themselves. By being a sounding board for them, they can reassure themselves of what they already know. By letting them come to the conclusion on their own instead of trying to tell them what you think they should do, they will be more than likely to actually take action as it's something they have figured out on their own, with your listening ears to help them.
• 4.
  ​Freedom

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  This might seem difficult to do many times depending on who this person is in your life but sometimes the best way to love someone is to allow them to make their own choices, even if those choices end up being what you would consider a mistake. It's hard to watch someone we care for make a choice that we know won't end well. We can do our best to guide them, show them other ways and give them options, but at the end of the day it's their life and they are the ones who are living it. Allow this person the freedom to make their own choices and live their own life, even if it doesn't make sense to you. Let them know you still love and care for them even if they mess up or things don't work out as they planned. And if they do come back to you in tears because of a bad choice they made, welcome them with loving arms. You may be tempted to say, "I told you so" but don't do that. It will just make them feel worse. Instead let them know you are there for them and that you will do what you are able to do to support them. Sometimes people just need to learn things for themselves.