Which Level-Up Strategy Is Right For Your Relationship?

Quiz Questions

• 1.
  Which describes your relationship best?

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  • A.
    We love each other, but we also drive each other crazy.
  • B.
    We're wonderful partners, but it’s been a while since we’ve really had fun together.
  • C.
    Our relationship is strong, but we fight like cats and dogs.
  • D.
    We get along great, but we can’t seem to get a handle on the house and the chores. 
• 2.
  What is your worst habit as a couple?

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  • A.
    We’re really disorganized.  Laundry, dishes, toys . . . there's never enough time in the day to get everything done. 
  • B.
    We bicker . . . a lot. From what to eat for dinner to who should pack the diaper bag, we argue all the time. 
  • C.
    We’re always stressed.  It’s hard to balance life, work, and kids, and it's affecting our marriage.
  • D.
    We never spend any time together.  Life is busy, and we can go weeks without having a real conversation. 
• 3.
  You’re trying to get the kids ready and you’re running late for work. What’s your partner doing?

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  • A.
    My partner is trying to help, but we just can't seem to get on the same page.  It's chaos! 
  • B.
    My partner is trying really hard to help, but they’re only making things worse. Now, we're both frustrated and annoyed. 
  • C.
    My partner is getting ready for work. They'd help me if they could, but they’re running late for work too!
  • D.
    My partner doesn’t know that I’m running late, and they won't notice unless I tell them. But I'm sure they'll help if I ask. 
• 4.
  It’s date night. What do you and your partner have planned?

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  • A.
    Dinner and a movie. (It's always dinner and a movie.)
  • B.
    I’m watching Netflix. It’s been a long week, and I'm tired.
  • C.
    I’m not sure.  We'll figure something out later.
  • D.
    Date night?  Who has time for date night? We forgot to put date night on the calendar.
• 5.
  You're really mad at your partner, and you need to vent.  What's your biggest complaint?

  • A.
    My partner is so annoying.
  • B.
    My partner treats me like a maid.
  • C.
    My partner never listens to me. 
  • D.
    My partner doesn't pay any attention to me anymore. 
• 6.
  Your kids are home sick from school, and you have an important meeting scheduled. How do you and your partner handle the situation?

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  • A.
    I cancel my meeting and stay home with the kids. It's what I always do, but I wish we could be more flexible sometimes. 
  • B.
    We have a long discussion about who's going to say home.  We both have work to do, and it's really hard to come to a decision.   
  • C.
    We have an argument. Neither one of us wants to miss work, and I can't cancel my meeting. 
  • D.
    I'm not sure.  We don't really have a plan for days like these. 
• 7.
  If you could fix anything in your marriage, what would you fix first?

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  • A.
    How we solve problems.
  • B.
    How we talk to each other.
  • C.
    How we spend our time.
  • D.
    All of the above.

Quiz Outcomes

• 1.
  Ready to Level Up? Start With Your Marriage Management System.

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  It looks like you’re struggling with the business of being married. Between chores, kids, and your career, you have too much to do, and you and your partner are overwhelmed. Balancing your responsibilities and coordinating your schedule is a full-time job, and it doesn’t leave much time to have fun or to connect. The good news is that couples who struggle with the business of being married thrive when they find the right schedule and the right routine. Time is your biggest relationship roadblock, and strengthening your marriage management system is the key to leveling up your relationship. But, the challenge is discovering the system that works for you, and the trick is learning how to work as a team.My top tip for couples who feel overwhelmed by the business of being married is to schedule a weekly marriage meeting.Use this meeting to coordinate the tasks that are bogging down your relationship. Save any discussions about chores, schedules, or responsibilities for this meeting, so they don’t become the primary focus of your marriage. And, do your best to keep this meeting short and sweet. Hello, I'm Valery and this is my family. I help busy couples stop growing apart and start reconnecting. As a marriage therapist and a working mom, I've learned a lot of lessons about what really makes marriage work. And I'm really excited to share them with you. Connect with me on Instagram ⤵️.
• 2.
  Ready to Level Up?  Adopt a Different Approach to Communication.

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  It looks like you and your partner have a hard time communicating. No matter how hard you try, you just can’t seem to talk without arguing or shutting down. Even if you’re a great communicator in other areas of your life, communicating in a relationship is hard. It requires a different approach and a different set of skills. The good news is that you have grit. You keep trying to connect with your partner even though it’s hard. Communication is your biggest relationship roadblock, and polishing your communication skills is the key to leveling up your relationship. But, the challenge is ditching your old communication habits, and the trick is being open to learning something new. My top tip for couples who struggle with communication is to focus on feelings. When you’re having a difficult conversation, struggling to compromise, or feeling frustrated with your partner, take a moment to observe your emotions. How are they driving the conversation? How are they helping? And, how are they getting in the way? When you understand your own feelings, you can use them to help you communicate. And, don’t forget to be curious about your partner’s feelings as well. Hello, I'm Valery and this is my family. I help busy couples stop growing apart and start reconnecting. As a marriage therapist and a working mom, I've learned a lot of lessons about what really makes marriage work. And I'm really excited to share them with you. Connect with me on Instagram ⤵️.
• 3.
  Ready to Level Up? Invest in Your Friendship.

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  It looks like you’ve lost track of your friendship. You've done a great job juggling your kids and your career, but in the process you've put your relationship on the back burner. Now, you and your partner are starting to drift apart. You’ve stopped having fun, and your relationship has lost its spark. The good news is that you and your partner are a great team. You work well together, and you know how to tackle tough problems.Right now, rekindling your spark is your biggest relationship roadblock, and finding time for friendship is the key to leveling up your marriage. The challenge is turning that partnership into a friendship again, and the trick is creating a habit of connection. My top tip for couples who have lost their friendship is to create daily rituals of connection. Build daily routines and rituals that create a culture of fondness, affection, and fun in your marriage. Focus on the small things and do them often. To start out, try creating rituals that take less than five minutes (like drinking your coffee together in the morning) and build your rituals over time. Hello, I'm Valery and this is my family. I help busy couples stop growing apart and start reconnecting. As a marriage therapist and a working mom, I've learned a lot of lessons about what really makes marriage work. And I'm really excited to share them with you. Connect with me on Instagram ⤵️.
• 4.
  Ready to Level Up? Challenge Your Marriage Mindset.

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  It looks like you’re struggling with a negative marriage mindset. You’re feeling overwhelmed by all of the things that are going wrong in your marriage, and you’re exhausted from trying to solve everything at once. Now, you’re feeling resentful and frustrated. The good news is that your marriage isn't broken. And, you have the power to make it better. Marriage mindset is your biggest relationship roadblock, and creating a culture of appreciation is the key to leveling up your marriage. But, the challenge is learning how to turn your problem-focus into a positive relationship strategy. And the trick is shifting your focus from fixing what’s wrong to celebrating what’s right.My top tip for couples who struggle with a negative mindset is to create a “love list.” A love list is a list of positive attributes of your marriage and your partner. Keep this love list around when you’re feeling frustrated, critical, and overwhelmed. When it feels right, share this list with your partner and remind them (and yourself) why you love your marriage.Hello, I'm Valery and this is my family. I help busy couples stop growing apart and start reconnecting. As a marriage therapist and a working mom, I've learned a lot of lessons about what really makes marriage work. And I'm really excited to share them with you. Connect with me on Instagram ⤵️.