Why Do You Feel Lonely?

Quiz Questions

• 1.
  It’s Friday night. What are you doing?

  • A.
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    Swiping on dating apps
  • B.
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    Hanging out with my usual group
  • C.
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    Scrolling on social media
  • D.
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    Hanging out at home alone
• 2.
  Are you in a romantic relationship?

  • A.
    No, but I want to
  • B.
    No, and I’m okay with that
  • C.
    Yes, but I feel like we lack connection sometimes
  • D.
    Yes, and I’m happy with it
• 3.
  How many friends do you have?

  • A.
    A lot, but most of them don’t live nearby
  • B.
    I have a lot of friends who I spend time with often
  • C.
    A couple but none that really get me
  • D.
    I don’t really have friends
• 4.
  What type of work do you do?

  • A.
    I work from home
  • B.
    I work in a small office that I enjoy
  • C.
    I work in a large company where I meet new people all the time
  • D.
    I work in a hybrid job, some online and some in person
• 5.
  How many people do you reach out to during the day?

  • A.
    I talk to a bunch of random people through social media pretty much all day
  • B.
    I talk to lots of friends or coworkers throughout the day
  • C.
    A few but it’s usually just basic small talk or good morning text
  • D.
    None really, I usually wait for someone to text me first
• 6.
  When do you feel the most lonely?

  • A.
    When I’m home alone and feel like there is no one to talk to
  • B.
    When I’m surrounded by people who just don’t understand me
  • C.
    When I see everyone else living the life I wish I had
  • D.
    When I see everyone in relationships but I’m struggling to find one
• 7.
  What types of conversations would you ideally like to have with someone you’re close to?

  • A.
    Future plans and talking about goals and dreams
  • B.
    Fun conversations and jokes throughout the day
  • C.
    Deep conversations about things that matter to me
  • D.
    I like talking about a bunch of different things with different people
• 8.
  Who do you spend most of your time with?

  • A.
    My spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend
  • B.
    My coworkers
  • C.
    My family or friends
  • D.
    My dog or cat

Quiz Outcomes

• 1.
  You're alone too much

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  The main reason you feel so lonely is because you are alone a lot. Maybe you work from home, live alone or recently moved to a new city and don’t really know anyone. Whatever the reason, you don’t really have much social interaction with other which seems to be causing you to feel lonely. Alone time is great and it's needed, but too much of it can really start to weigh on us as humans. We are built for connection and even though you might feel like you're doing fine on your own, truth is we all need someone and a community where we feel like we belong. Find ways to get out of the house and be around people. Join a gym, take classes, join a church, go to events or invite a coworker to hang out. The key is to get out of the house and put yourself in places where you are likely to meet other people you can hang out with and ultimately make some friends with.
• 2.
  You aren’t connecting with others 

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  It sounds like you are around people a lot but you don’t really feel understood by most of them. You can go to a party and make small talk, but it just feels like no one really gets you. No one wants to talk about the things you want to talk about or when you try to make conversation they seem to only last a few minutes before it gets awkward. You might feel like you’re the one doing something wrong but chances are you just aren’t spending time with the right people. It’s not that the people you spend time with now aren’t good for you (however, they might not be) it’s just that you haven’t really found the place where you really fit in and feel like you belong. This might mean that it’s time to break out of your comfort zone a bit. You might need to expand your circle of friends a bit or just meet some new people. Get out and do something you enjoy, even if you don’t have anyone right now who wants to go with you. You never know who you might meet.
• 3.
  You’re on social media too much

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  Surprisingly, even though social media was invented to keep us more connected, it can actually make us feel less connected. You can have 1000 “friends” on social media but have you actually met half of them in real life? We might feel that “liking” someone’s photo or leaving a comment is technically interacting but it’s so much different than going up to a person in real life and saying, “Hey, you did a great job!”. There is just something about being in the presence of another person that you just can’t get on your phone. And on top of that, social media can make us compare ourselves to others. We see people getting married, having babies, going on trips, starting new jobs and more. Remember, people typically post their accomplishments, not their failures. And they tend to leave out the struggles that came alone with it. When we spend too much time on social media we are feeding ourselves a bunch of information and false images which can make us feel lonely and like we are doing something wrong. Why haven’t we gotten married yet? Why don’t we have a bunch of friends to travel with? The truth is pictures and post are just a snapshot in time, not the whole story. Don’t compare your story to a piece of someone else’s.Maybe consider spending less time on your phone. Take a “social media sabbath” where you spend a day disconnected from social media, put an app time on your phone or take the quiz below.
• 4.
  You have no love life

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  It’s true that you can live a full and fulfilling life as a single person, but that life is not for everyone. For some, it’s exactly what they want, freedom, independence, less pressure and responsibility, but for others they can feel like something is missing when they don’t have a partner leaving them to feel lonely. Our society places a lot of value of being in a relationship although it really shouldn’t. There is a lot of pressure to be in a relationship and if someone is single people might even make you feel like something is wrong with you or you aren’t trying hard enough. Those are both lies. Nothing is wrong with you if you haven’t found the right partner yet. However, there are benefits to being a romantic relationship that friendship and family can’t give us. It’s great having a life partner to make decisions with, someone who is committed to you, to cuddle with and to come home to at the end of the day. Sometimes we have been hurt and need time to heal. If that is you, please give yourself as much time to heal as you need. Don’t rush into something if you aren’t ready. On the flip side, if you do feel ready to date that’s awesome! There are many different approaches you can take to find love, you just have to find the one that works for you. Maybe it’s online dating, getting the courage to ask out someone you have a crush on or maybe just focusing on yourself and doing things you like while being open to someone approaching you?