What is your go-to trauma response?

Quiz Questions

• 1.
  Which best describes your experience growing up?

  • A.
    You are one of the “troublemakers” in class and struggled with grades
  • B.
    You were shy and found it hard to make friends. Definitely not the popular kid
  • C.
    You were got straight As and were a rule-follower
  • D.
    You had a lot of friends because you changed your personality depending on who you were hanging out with.
• 2.
  Someone is upset with you even though you had good intentions. How do you react?

  • A.
    Take it personally and now you can't stop thinking about it
  • B.
    Think, "that's their problem, not mine" and move on
  • C.
    Think, "oh they're one to talk" and list off all of their shortcomings
  • D.
    You don't. It's hard to get a rise out of you
• 3.
  You find out that your friends went on a night out without inviting you. What do you do?

  • A.
    Tell them you're upset
  • B.
    Use the time to catch up on your to-do list
  • C.
    Don’t bring it up because conflict makes you uncomfortable
  • D.
    Feel relief that you can spend the night alone, which you’d rather do anyway
• 4.
  How do you react when you're in a heated argument with your partner?

  • A.
    Give them the silent treatment and dissociate
  • B.
    Make them sleep in the other room or kick them out
  • C.
    You usually apologize first
  • D.
    Yell and scream so they can see how upset you are
• 5.
  What do you do when you are stressed?

  • A.
    Clean the house or book a getaway
  • B.
    Take a high-intensity workout class to release your frustrations
  • C.
    Play video games, scroll your phone or check out
  • D.
    Vent to a friend and verbally process
• 6.
  What do your friends like most about you?

  • A.
    You have their back and would go to bat for them at all costs
  • B.
    They know they can rely on you and you’ll always pick up the phone
  • C.
    You’re low key and down to just hang out and chill
  • D.
    You’re the event planner and fun coordinator
• 7.
  What quality is most important to you when choosing a job?

  • A.
    Being able to help and serve others
  • B.
    Anything as long as you don’t have to talk to people
  • C.
    Freedom and flexibility
  • D.
    Being in a leadership position where others look up to you

Quiz Outcomes

• 1.
  Flight

  Image Source

  Your trauma response is FLIGHT.This means that most of the time you want to outrun the inner pain you feel. This can be seen as trying to keep busy and productive as a way to avoid processing these feelings of rejection, abandonment or shame. You may even wear your “busyness” as a badge of honor and pride, thus reinforcing your go-to avoidance mechanism. When you’re not “doing”, you feel major anxiety and therefore struggle to slow down. Flight types unconsciously believe that perfection and performance will make them loveable and keep them safe. Alternatively, they may take a completely opposite approach by giving up on achievement, believing it to be unachievable. They may have a “why bother” attitude of rebellion. Flight types can present as an “A student” in school or a “dropout”. Either way, they seek external activities to fill the abandonment void they feel internally. To start healing and managing this trauma response in a healthy way, you can:Set healthy limits to how long you’re workingKeep a journal to connect with how you really feel beneath the surface Develop a mindfulness routine to help you learn to be present in the moments you’re not “doing”. Start with just 60 seconds each day and work your way up. To make it even easier, you can give guided meditations a try.Remind yourself that being busy is not a badge of honor, but a way of preventing true intimacyWrite this on a post-it and put it somewhere you can see it every day!Has this given you clarity about your trauma response and how you can manage it?If yes, we invite you to check out Choosing to Heal, an online community for women healing from thought patterns and habits that have kept them stuck, so that they can discover and embody the best version of themselves.Get all the details below:
• 2.
  Fight

  Image Source

  Your trauma response is FIGHT.This could look like having the need to control others, responding with anger and aggression, and having feelings of entitlement. When you feel unsafe or hurt, it feels unmanageable and out of control. To combat these feelings, you seek to feel in control by exerting dominance and being in a position of authority, which is how you feel safe. Often times people with fight responses have had a childhood that had insufficient limits and boundaries, or had a caregiver who also exhibited these fight behaviors.Because the fight types’ behavior is intimidating, often times loved ones walk on eggshells around them, as to not “set them off”. This prevents true connection from happening, as those around the fight type don’t feel safe to authentically express themselves and communicate truthfully. This is damaging to close relationships.To start healing and managing this trauma response in a healthy way, you can:Practice noticing when you start to feel angry and create some separation and space before you react. Try going for a walk, listening to some calming music, and taking a breather to calm yourself before you respond. Keep a journal and develop a mindfulness practice to connect with how you really feel beneath the anger. Start with just 60 seconds of meditation each day and work your way up. Remind yourself that love is not a byproduct of your control, and true connection can only exist where control is not present. Write this on a post-it and put it somewhere you can see it every day!Has this given you clarity about your trauma response and how you can manage it?If yes, we invite you to check out Choosing to Heal, an online community for women healing from thought patterns and habits that have kept them stuck, so that they can discover and embody the best version of themselves.Get all the details below:
• 3.
  Freeze

  Image Source

  Your trauma response is FREEZE.This can look like “disassociating” (mentally checking out) from situations you don’t feel safe in, avoiding other people, seeking solitude, and making yourself appear small. You avoid the spotlight and any situation where the attention is on you. You find it difficult to focus and get things done, and enjoy activities where you can zone out (watching Netflix or numbing with substances). In the extreme, people with a freeze trauma response can be in denial so much that they live in a fantasy world and refuse to live in reality.Freeze types have learned the art of “changing the channel” when their inner experience becomes uncomfortable. Because they have become masters of living on the surface, it is nearly impossible to form intimacy with others. They often seek out relationships that have no substance, depth or connection - preferring pornography or casual sex to intimate relationships. They run away from vulnerability and intimacy, even though they desire and desperately seek connection at their core.To start healing and managing this trauma response in a healthy way, you can:Start a meditation practice to help you feel rooted in the present moment, rather than in fantasy. Start with just 60 seconds each day and work your way up. To make it even easier, you can give guided meditations a try. Keep a journal to connect with how you really feel beneath the surface. Make a conscious effort to participate in social activities, rather than solo ones. Remind yourself that it is safe to come out of the protection fog zone, and that you are worthy of being truly known. Write this on a post-it and put it somewhere you can see it every day!Has this given you clarity about your trauma response and how you can manage it?If yes, we invite you to check out Choosing to Heal, an online community for women healing from thought patterns and habits that have kept them stuck, so that they can discover and embody the best version of themselves.Get all the details below:
• 4.
  Fawn

  Your trauma response is FAWN.Fawn types are the ultimate people pleasers. You find it hard to say no and often put other people’s needs before yours. You may even feel a sense of worthiness when others depend and rely on you, therefore reinforcing the behavior, which ultimately leads to burnout. Because you are unable to communicate your true feelings (that you really don’t want to do something), it often leads to feelings of resentment. You likely take this resentment out on yourself, even blaming yourself for not being able to speak up or say no. Fawn types are their own worst critic.Fawn types learned early on that safety and attachment could be earned by being helpful and of service to their caregivers. They often received selective praise only when they got good grades or behaved well. This led to the belief that simply being themselves without performing was never “good enough”. Fawn types avoid potential disappointment and hurt by repressing their true feelings. They avoid the possibility of rejection by molding themselves into someone they think the other person will like and accept. Their core desire is acceptance.To start healing and managing this trauma response in a healthy way, you can: Start creating healthy boundaries for yourself and others. Developing a mindfulness routine will help you notice when you are being self-critical or wanting to please. Start with just 60 seconds of meditation each day and work your way up. To make it even easier, you can give guided meditations a try. Keep a self-compassion journal and write down when you are hard or critical on yourself. Then respond to yourself in a way that you’d talk to your best friend instead of your worst enemy. Remind yourself that saying no allows you to say yes to the things that truly matter - yourself being one of them. Put this on a post-it and put it somewhere you can see it every day!Has this given you clarity about your trauma response and how you can manage it?If yes, we invite you to check out Choosing to Heal, an online community for women healing from thought patterns and habits that have kept them stuck, so that they can discover and embody the best version of themselves.Get all the details below: