Decode the Conversation: Take this Quiz to learn your Communication Style

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Quiz Questions

1.
After a long day, you walk into the bathroom and see your spouse's dirty pile of clothes on the floor next to the shower...again. You're more likely to:
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- A.
  Pick it up and put it in the hamper for them even though I do wish my spouse would learn how to put his/her dirty clothes away.
- B.
  Let them know that I recognize there's a lot to do around the house and one way we can both stay on top of the chores is by making sure we both put our dirty clothes in the hamper as soon as we undress.
- C.
  Yell at them about how lazy they must be for not being able to do that one little task of picking up their own dirty underwear.
- D.
  Pick it up for them but make sure they hear me complaining about how under-appreciated I feel despite how hard I work around the house.
2.
You've had a lot of unexpected household expenses lately and are really concerned about your family's financial situation. Your spouse surprises you with a lavish and expensive gift without discussing it with you. You are more likely to:
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- A.
  Thank them for their thoughtfulness and let them know how much I appreciate the gift. Later in the week, schedule a time when we can discuss the budget.
- B.
  Tell them how irresponsible they are for spending such a ridiculous amount of money without considering the consequences.
- C.
  Not say anything about my budget concerns but secretly question how much I can trust my partner's ability to manage our finances.
- D.
  Let it go. There's no reason why a good moment should be ruined by talking about money.
3.
Your partner has an annoying habit. What do you do?
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- A.
  I don't say anything but I snort and leave the room anytime they do it.
- B.
  I have a conversation with them and kindly ask them to give up on it. I let them know that I care about them and only want what's best for them.
- C.
  Nothing. It's not like they'll change anyway.
- D.
  I let them know how stupid I think they are for not recognizing how bad their habit is. You'd have to be an idiot to not see that.
4.
You're returning home from a tiring and stressful work trip. You just really want to come home to a clean house and relax for a bit to de-stress. What are you more likely to do?
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- A.
  Wait until I get home. If the house is a mess I'm likely to get angry and disappointed, then complain that nothing ever gets done around here unless I do it.
- B.
  Hope that my spouse can somehow read my mind and know that all I really want to do when I get home is relax.
- C.
  Do nothing but secretly resent my spouse for not automatically knowing that a clean house is what I need to relax after a stressful work trip. I hope they're not expecting any attention from me tonight because they're not getting it.
- D.
  Call my spouse and let them know how tired and stressed I am from my work trip. Then ask them if there's any way they can help me out by having the house nice and clean when I get home so I can finally relax.
5.
The barista made your latte with almond milk, but you wanted oat milk, what do you do...
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- A.
  I'm too nervous to ask them to remake it, so I take my almond milk latte and exit stage left.
- B.
  They better watch out! I paid $7 for this latte, and if I ask for oat milk, I'm getting oat milk.
- C.
  I'm upset — it's like no one hears me anymore. I don't ask for a new one, but I feel down about it for an hour or so.
- D.
  No sweat! I wave and smile at the barista and tell them that I ordered oat milk. I'm sure they'll remake it.
6.
You are interested in being intimate with your spouse. What are you more likely to do?
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- A.
  I'll make some subtle hints that hopefully my spouse will notice. If I don't get a response, then tonight must not be the night.
- B.
  I'll make some subtle hints and maybe even throw out a compliment or two. If there's no response, then I'll just quietly keep my distance emotionally and physically for awhile. I'm done initiating and getting rejected.
- C.
  I don't know what the big deal is...we're married so we should be able to be intimate anytime one of us wants to. I would likely just make my move when we get to bed. I know exactly what gets my spouse aroused so I'll just keep doing that until they finally give in.
- D.
  I'm super attracted to my spouse and love it when we connect intimately. I would let her/him know how attracted I am to them and how they make me feel anytime I'm around them. So I'll likely lean in and kiss them softly on their neck while letting them know how much he/she turns me on. Then I would ask if they would be interested in getting intimate tonight and what I can do to help make it happen.
7.
You need help taking out the trash. Which of the following statements most resembles how you would address your spouse about it?
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- A.
  Boy, we sure seem to be generating a lot more trash lately!
- B.
  Can you please help me take out the trash?
- C.
  Seriously, can you take the trash out!!!
- D.
  I wonder if you'll ever take out the trash without me asking?
8.
Your spouse makes plans with friends on a day you already planned to do something together. How do you respond?
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- A.
  I get angry and tell them they need to think twice about their choice. There's no way I'm coming second to anyone.
- B.
  I grudgingly agree, but think of ways I can secretly get back at them.
- C.
  I let them know how this makes me feel and explain that I've been looking forward to spending quality time together.
- D.
  I just go along with it. At the end of the day they're going to do what they want to do and I wouldn't want them to cancel out of pity for me.
9.
You're convinced your spouse's parents don't like you and have never been able to get along well with them. You're spending the holidays together. How do you cope?
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- A.
  I may not like them, but they're my spouse's parents so I need to just smile and go along with it.
- B.
  We're all adults so I'm going to do my best to remain civilized and respectful. But when I don't need to be in the same room as them, I'll likely find some other way to spend my time.
- C.
  If it's a fight they want, it's a fight they'll get!
- D.
  I'll pretend everything is fine, but I'll secretly make sure the grandkids all know how mean their grandparents are so they can come to my defense if needed.
10.
How do you feel about conflicts?
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- A.
  I don't love them, but when they happen, I use it as an opportunity to learn so we don't repeat the same arguments over and over.
- B.
  I try to avoid them at all cost.
- C.
  I don't mind them because I love to win.
- D.
  I avoid them but I use other methods to get what I want.

Quiz Outcomes

1.
Your communication style is... Passive
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Woot woot — you did it, friend! By completing this quiz, you've shown your commitment to learning how the way you communicate impacts your marriage and how you can fine tune it to improve connection with your spouse. According to your responses, your communication style is Passive. Now let me fill you in on what that actually means...You like to be liked and are probably the sweetest person in most groups. Even more so, you prefer to keep peace and try really hard to avoid conflict or confrontation - even at the expense of your own needs, thoughts, or desire.In fact, no matter how you may truly be feeling, you probably go with your spouse's ideas or suggestions on most things.You may have heard somewhere at some point that you're likely a "people pleaser." (and there's nothing wrong with that)You're that person we can all count on to bake the extra five dozen cookies the night before, cover someone else's shift at work, or drive carpool an extra day each week just because noone else will.We all love having friends like you...but you secretly may not always love being that person to everyone else.In your marriage, you likely tend to keep things to yourself and bottled up because you don't want to risk hurting feelings or creating conflict. You'd rather just wait for your spouse to somehow figure things out on their own.Now there's nothing wrong with being a peace-keeper, but always ignoring your own needs or desires can cause you to feel alone, neglected, or disappointed. This can turn into built-up resentment and may create an invisible wall between you and your spouse. From time to time that invisible wall of resentment may "explode" unexpectedly, which only leads to you feeling guilty then apologetic. Then the cycle of preferring to keep things to yourself to maintain peace starts all over again.But here's the thing...you do have valid thoughts. Your feelings do matter. Your needs are important. In fact, your spouse secretly REALLY wants to be able to meet your needs, understand your thoughts, and consider your feelings...if only they know what those are. Remember, your spouse still isn't a mind-reader. :-)There's a much better way to communicate that can lead to connection instead of a feeling of isolation. And GREAT NEWS...You can learn it all in "The Ultimate Communication Course for Couples."Finally...go from feeling frustrated in your relationship, disconnected and misunderstood by your partner, to being deeply aligned and connected.After completing and implementing what you learn in "The Ultimate Communication Course for Couples," you'll experience:increased trustbetter conflict resolutiongreater intimacydeeper connectionand an aligned purpose in your marriage.>>> The door to register for this course is currently closed, but you're welcome to sign up for the waitlist and we'll let you know as soon as we open it back up to the public.Who Am I to Tell You That You Can Have A Healthy Marriage? Let Me Fill You InHey there, I'm Nadine Stewart 👋 I help courageous people (just like you) transform their marriage from the inside out. I'm a Christian Marriage and Relationship Coach and have worked with clients in all stages of relationship. From the seriously dating, to the couple who celebrated their 50th anniversary during one of our sessions, I've seen it all.I have a sincere passion for helping couples thrive in their relationship and honestly believe that marriage can be amazing, despite what society may want to lead you to think. No matter what stage you may be in your relationship, I want to encourage you that there's always hope. God can create beauty out of brokenness and he can breathe life back into a struggling relationship...as long as you're willing.Kickstart Your Transformation with These Free Resources1. Listen to our podcast. My husband, Duane, and I talk all things marriage (and relationship) in our weekly podcast. We cover everything from intimacy, roles, our faith, raising kids, communication, creating an aligned purpose, etc. We also have wonderful guests who give us their perspective on infidelity, finances, addictions, etc.3. Book a 15 minutes consultation with yours truly. If you're ready to start changing your relationship from the inside out, let's talk. We'll get to know one another, and we can decide if we're a match.P.S. Expect to See Me in Your Inbox Soon With More Tips to Help You Create A Thriving Marriage.
2.
Your communication style is... Aggressive
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Woot woot — you did it, friend! By completing this quiz, you've shown your commitment to learning how the manner in which you communicate impacts your marriage and how you can fine tune it to improve connection with your spouse. According to your responses, your communication style is Aggressive. Now let me fill you in on what that actually means...Of all the types of communication styles, aggressive communicators are the most recognizable. You probably tend to speak in a louder tone, interrupt often, and maybe even criticize or blame your spouse. Your favorite topic to talk about is yourself and you'll make sure to maintain intense eye contact to get your point across.This is going to sound harsh, but the way you advocate for your opinions and needs tends to violate the rights of others. You think you're simply supporting your point of view, but in fact you can be abusive and often dominate other people. Here's the thing, you may get what you want for the moment, but you are ignoring long term consequences that will severely impact your marriage (and family) in a very negative way. Your short fuse and aggressiveness will not only hurt your spouse and cause more conflict in your marriage, it will also be nearly impossible to truly connect with your loved ones if it continues.But change is ALWAYS possible! It's simply a matter of seeing an alternative and taking actionable steps towards it. There's a much better way to communicate that can lead to connection instead of a feeling of isolation. And GREAT NEWS...You can learn it all in "The Ultimate Communication Course for Couples."Finally...go from feeling frustrated in your relationship, disconnected and misunderstood by your partner, to being deeply aligned and connected.After completing and implementing what you learn in "The Ultimate Communication Course for Couples," you'll experience:increased trustbetter conflict resolutiongreater intimacydeeper connectionand an aligned purpose in your marriage.>>> The door to register for this course is currently closed, but you're welcome to sign up for the waitlist and we'll let you know as soon as we open it back up to the public.Who Am I to Tell You That You Can Have A Healthy Marriage? Let Me Fill You InHey there, I'm Nadine Stewart 👋 I help courageous people (just like you) transform their marriage from the inside out. I'm a Christian Marriage and Relationship Coach and have worked with clients in all stages of relationship. From the seriously dating, to the couple who celebrated their 50th anniversary during one of our sessions, I've seen it all.I have a sincere passion for helping couples thrive in their relationship and honestly believe that marriage can be amazing, despite what society may want to lead you to think. No matter what stage you may be in your relationship, I want to encourage you that there's always hope. God can create beauty out of brokenness and he can breathe life back into a struggling relationship...as long as you're willing.Kickstart Your Transformation with These Free Resources1. Listen to our podcast. My husband, Duane, and I talk all things marriage (and relationship) in our weekly podcast. We cover everything from intimacy, roles, our faith, raising kids, communication, creating an aligned purpose, etc. We also have wonderful guests who give us their perspective on infidelity, finances, addictions, etc.3. Book a 15 minutes consultation with yours truly. If you're ready to start changing your relationship from the inside out, let's talk. We'll get to know one another, and we can decide if we're a match.P.S. Expect to See Me in Your Inbox Soon With More Tips to Help You Create A Thriving Marriage.
3.
Your communication style is... Passive Aggressive
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Woot woot — you did it, friend! By completing this quiz, you've shown your commitment to learning how your communication comes across in your marriage and how you can fine tune it to improve connection with your spouse. According to your responses, your communication style is Passive Aggressive. Now let me fill you in on what that actually means...Individuals who have a passive-aggressive communication style attempt to make their partner aware of their needs in an indirect way. Rather than expressing your emotions, you expect your spouse to read your mind and get upset when there’s a lapse in communication. So you roll your eyes, mutter to yourself, use sarcasm, or deny there's even a problem to impose your will.Your facial expressions often don't match how you truly feel - for instance, you smile when you're angry or try to look passive when you're actually feeling resentful. You may think you're avoiding conflict, but your little and not-so-subtle attempts to let others know you're unhappy, can be hurting your relationship with your spouse.But change is ALWAYS possible! It's simply a matter of seeing an alternative and taking actionable steps towards it. There's a much better way to communicate that can lead to connection instead of a feeling of isolation. And GREAT NEWS...You can learn it all in "The Ultimate Communication Course for Couples."Finally...go from feeling frustrated in your relationship, disconnected and misunderstood by your partner, to being deeply aligned and connected.After completing and implementing what you learn in "The Ultimate Communication Course for Couples," you'll experience:increased trustbetter conflict resolutiongreater intimacydeeper connectionand an aligned purpose in your marriage.>>> The door to register for this course is currently closed, but you're welcome to sign up for the waitlist and we'll let you know as soon as we open it back up to the public.Who Am I to Tell You That You Can Have A Healthy Marriage? Let Me Fill You InHey there, I'm Nadine Stewart 👋 I help courageous people (just like you) transform their marriage from the inside out. I'm a Christian Marriage and Relationship Coach and have worked with clients in all stages of relationship. From the seriously dating, to the couple who celebrated their 50th anniversary during one of our sessions, I've seen it all.I have a sincere passion for helping couples thrive in their relationship and honestly believe that marriage can be amazing, despite what society may want to lead you to think. No matter what stage you may be in your relationship, I want to encourage you that there's always hope. God can create beauty out of brokenness and he can breathe life back into a struggling relationship...as long as you're willing.Kickstart Your Transformation with These Free Resources1. Listen to our podcast. My husband, Duane, and I talk all things marriage (and relationship) in our weekly podcast. We cover everything from intimacy, roles, our faith, raising kids, communication, creating an aligned purpose, etc. We also have wonderful guests who give us their perspective on infidelity, finances, addictions, etc.3. Book a 15 minutes consultation with yours truly. If you're ready to start changing your relationship from the inside out, let's talk. We'll get to know one another, and we can decide if we're a match.P.S. Expect to See Me in Your Inbox Soon With More Tips to Help You Create A Thriving Marriage.
4.
Your communication style is... Assertive
Image Source
Woot woot — you did it, friend! By completing this quiz, you've shown your commitment to learning how your communication comes across in your marriage and how you can fine tune it to improve connection with your spouse. According to your responses, your communication style is Assertive. Now let me fill you in on what that actually means...Congratulations! You have the most effective and healthiest communication style. Individuals who have an assertive communication style can clearly advocate and identify their needs and feelings without disrespecting the needs and feelings of their partner. You are able to recognize your own emotions and express them in a healthy, confident way. You use “I feel” statements instead of being accusatory. You let others speak and you listen deeply when they do. You have a healthy ability to say “no” and take time for yourself, all while respecting the opinions, needs and feelings of your spouse. You are a wise and balanced person and it's important for you to have open communication with your spouse, even if it isn't always easy. If only everyone communicated as well as you do...:-)But even with the most effective communication style, there's still so much that goes into your relationship that can determine the quality of your connection.For instance, how good of a listener are you? Do you understand the key to effectively decoding non-verbal cues? What's your preferred way of dealing with conflict? How do you avoid having the same arguments over and over? What is your strategy to ensure you and your spouse are aligned in your values and moving in the same direction?Well, there's GREAT NEWS...You can learn it all in "The Ultimate Communication Course for Couples."Finally...go from feeling frustrated in your relationship, disconnected and misunderstood by your partner, to being deeply aligned and connected.After completing and implementing what you learn in "The Ultimate Communication Course for Couples," you'll experience:increased trustbetter conflict resolutiongreater intimacydeeper connectionand an aligned purpose in your marriage.>>> The door to register for this course is currently closed, but you're welcome to sign up for the waitlist and we'll let you know as soon as we open it back up to the public.Who Am I to Tell You That You Can Have A Healthy Marriage? Let Me Fill You InHey there, I'm Nadine Stewart 👋 I help courageous people (just like you) transform their marriage from the inside out. I'm a Christian Marriage and Relationship Coach and have worked with clients in all stages of relationship. From the seriously dating, to the couple who celebrated their 50th anniversary during one of our sessions, I've seen it all.I have a sincere passion for helping couples thrive in their relationship and honestly believe that marriage can be amazing, despite what society may want to lead you to think. No matter what stage you may be in your relationship, I want to encourage you that there's always hope. God can create beauty out of brokenness and he can breathe life back into a struggling relationship...as long as you're willing.Kickstart Your Transformation with These Free Resources1. Listen to our podcast. My husband, Duane, and I talk all things marriage (and relationship) in our weekly podcast. We cover everything from intimacy, roles, our faith, raising kids, communication, creating an aligned purpose, etc. We also have wonderful guests who give us their perspective on infidelity, finances, addictions, etc.3. Book a 15 minutes consultation with yours truly. If you're ready to start changing your relationship from the inside out, let's talk. We'll get to know one another, and we can decide if we're a match.P.S. Expect to See Me in Your Inbox Soon With More Tips to Help You Create A Thriving Marriage.

Decode the Conversation: Take this Quiz to learn your Communication Style

For each question, choose the answer that most closely resembles how you usually respond and what you usually do, NOT what you think the right answer would be. The more honest you are, the more accurate your results will be.

Quiz Questions

Quiz Outcomes