Are you a Chick-Fil-A Mom or Taco Bell Mom?

Image Source

Quiz Questions

1.
Weapons or fists?
- A.
  Weapons!
- B.
  Fists!
- C.
  Weapons AND Fists!
- D.
  Neither. I choose peace.
2.
What is your enneagram number?
- A.
  1
- B.
  2
- C.
  3
- D.
  4
- E.
  5
- F.
  6
- G.
  7
- H.
  8
- I.
  9
- J.
  0 - I'm post enneagram.
- K.
  What's the enneagram?
- L.
  Stop. This question is satanic.
3.
How do you feel about the zodiac?
- A.
  Huh? The killer?
- B.
  Meh.
- C.
  Jason, cue the clown music.
- D.
  Ooooh! Love it. Gemini, Aquarius, or Pisces here!
- E.
  It's silly and / or I'm a Virgo, Tarus, or Aries.
- F.
  I hate it, and I'm allegedly a Sagittarius, Capricorn, or Cancer.
- G.
  Some days I believe, some days I don't! Also I'm a Scorpio or Leo or Libra.
- H.
  Stop. This question is satanic.
4.
Choose a fictitious mom:
- A.
  Chilli (Bluey)
- B.
  Marge Simpson (The Simpsons)
- C.
  Linda Belcher (Bob's Burgers)
- D.
  Lois Griffin (Family Guy)
- E.
  Caroline Ingalls (Little House on the Prairie)
- F.
  Tami Taylor (Friday Night Lights)
- G.
  Lorelai Gilmore (Gilmore Girls)
- H.
  Morticia Addams (The Addams Family)
- I.
  Helen Parr (The Incredibles)
- J.
  Peggy Bundy (Married with Children)
- K.
  Mother Gothel (Tangled)
- L.
  Daenerys Targaryen (GoT)
5.
What do you sign up to bring to your kids' end of the year class party?
- A.
  Cookies that I baked myself
- B.
  IMini cupcakes from the bakery department of the grocery store
- C.
  Packaged cookies from the grocery aisle
- D.
  A bag of pretzels
- E.
  Baby carrots
- F.
  Cutie oranges
- G.
  Capri Suns
- H.
  Paper towels from my holder at home and a mishmash of paper plates if I can find some
- I.
  Plastic tube popsicles
- J.
  Peanut butter & jelly sandwiches?
- K.
  Mini bottles of water
- L.
  String cheese
- M.
  Goodie bags with bubbles and fruit snacks
- N.
  Cake Pops from Starbucks
- O.
  Was that today? I'm so embarrassed.
- P.
  I didn't sign up and DGAF
6.
You're running errands. Choose some shoes:
- A.
  ON Running or Hoka sneakers
- B.
  Vejas or Golden Goose tennis shoes
- C.
  Rothy's, Allbirds, or Tieks
- D.
  Birkenstocks, Tevas, or Chacos
- E.
  Preppy loafers, boat shoes, or ballet flats
- F.
  Trendy Nikes: platform AF1, Jordans, or Blazers
- G.
  Converse or Vans
- H.
  Stilleto heels
- I.
  Sandals with bling
- J.
  Oh! The newest shoes I just got from Target!
- K.
  Sensible shoes that support the inserts for my plantar fasciitis
- L.
  Old Navy flip flops
- M.
  Cowboy boots
- N.
  House slippers
- O.
  Nah, I'm good
7.
Which, of these, is the group of names you like best?
- A.
  Jane, Kate, Jack, Liam
- B.
  Sophia, Isabella, Jacob, Aiden
- C.
  Harper, Piper, Max, Mason
- D.
  Brinley, Madelynn, Brayden, Jackson
- E.
  Poppy, Pippa, Oakley, Milo
- F.
  Lake, Prairie, Atlas, River
- G.
  Ember, Anthem, Ace, Bear
- H.
  Dawn, Destiny, Cody, Curtis
- I.
  Sadie, Dixie, Colt, Duke
- J.
  Kayliyn, Harleigh, Aidyn, Jaxxyn
- K.
  Saoirse, Siobhan, Cillian, Declan
- L.
  Marlow, Ruby, Grant, Owen
- M.
  Elijah, Noah, Chloe, Ava
- N.
  James, Liam, Daisy, Mia
- O.
  Jude, Henry, Elenor, Nora
- P.
  Junior
8.
Choose a kid activity to chaperone:
- A.
  Spelling bee
- B.
  School or rec league game
- C.
  Travel/academy level sports tournament for baseball, soccer, volleyball, or softball
- D.
  Gymnastics or cheerleading competition
- E.
  Video game tournament
- F.
  Lacrosse, rowing, swimming, tennis, or golf match
- G.
  Music or dance recital
- H.
  Kids' pageant
- I.
  Organize and host a class playdate at a playground
- J.
  Free kid activity at some shopping center
- K.
  Six Flags or local theme park
- L.
  Meeting with the principal... again
- M.
  Church overnight
- N.
  Trip to the library
- O.
  Art Club
- P.
  Chess Club
9.
Do you ever take your shoes off in a movie theater?
- A.
  Yes, always!
- B.
  Yes, sometimes.
- C.
  No, never!
10.
Choose your personal hades:
- A.
  stuck in traffic
- B.
  public speaking
- C.
  karaoke
- D.
  line dancing
- E.
  holding a yard sale
- F.
  going to a yard sale
- G.
  farting loudly at work
- H.
  running into you ex at the grocery store
- I.
  women's retreat
- J.
  couples therapy
- K.
  standing at a concert the whole time
- L.
  keto diet

Quiz Outcomes

1.
Chick-Fil-A Mom
Image Source
You are monastic in your pursuit of a lifestyle of efficient and reasonable luxury. You are overly eager to make friends with the UPS and FedEx drivers. Anytime your child has a school project, the only thing you will let them do is put their name on it (and only under your CLOSE supervision).Share your results on Instagram and Twitter with tag #PopcastMom
2.
Taco Bell Mom
Image Source
Your phone battery is always 8% or below, your voicemail box is always full, and at any point in time, there are three still half-filled Starbucks cups in different locations throughout your car. When you close your eyes, you don’t see something peaceful like a field or garden; you see Panama City. Loved ones might describe you as “a little scuzzy” but you are also resilient and formidable.Share your results on Instagram and Twitter with tag #PopcastMom
3.
McDonald's Mom
Image Source
You contain multitudes. You are a professional who has received promotions, yet somehow you still haven’t mastered carline. You can’t wait for your kids to go to bed, but 15 minutes later, you’re nostalgic for their voices and messes. You’ve completed Whole 30 twice, but at your core, you feel most like yourself when you are alone in your car, in a parking lot, and eating your McDouble and fries like a newly unhibernated goblin. Share your results on Instagram and Twitter with tag #PopcastMom
4.
KenTacoHut Mom
Image Source
(Kentucky Fried Chicken / Taco Bell / Pizza Hut Hybrid Mom)You have a tattoo that cannot be seen unless things get real weird. One time, you met Michael Bolton and the interaction ended with him wishing for more time. You still sleep with a Keroppi stuffed animal that has seen some real heinous stuff and you constantly steal fries off your child’s plate much to their very emotive chagrin. You contain multitudes and you cannot be categorized or contained.Share your results on Instagram and Twitter with tag #PopcastMom
5.
Burger King Mom
Image Source
For years, you’ve denied your children a trip to Disney World because you are wanted in Florida after an unfortunate incident outside a Walgreens. In the summer, you lay in the front yard sunbathing in a kiddie pool, despite the complaints piling up on the Next Door app.Share your results on Instagram and Twitter with tag #PopcastMom
6.
Gas Station Hot Dog Mom
Image Source
It’s the simple things in life for you where you derive the most joy, and by “simple” we mean that hot dog that has been slowly rotating through the heater since the first World War. But what a great deal on a hot meal, huh? As a mom, you don’t wear shoes inside public restrooms and neither do your kids and yet somehow you are the PICTURE of health.Share your results on Instagram and Twitter with tag #PopcastMom
7.
Arby's Mom
Image Source
You're not like the other moms. And part of that may be the meat sweats, but part of that is you're comfortable being the weirdest in the room. You wield the power of both roast beef and sick beats. In a past life, you might have been a pop star or novelist. As a mom, you reign as the supreme curator of playlists and movie nights, forcing your late 90s and early aughts nostalgia onto your kids. They may not have a Doja Cat album, but you never miss an opportunity to remind them that you were a fan of The National long before Taylor Swift made them cool.Share your results on Instagram and Twitter with tag #PopcastMom
8.
Buc-ees Mom
Image Source
You feel at home in large crowds. You are delightful. You are eclectic. You also contain multitudes because while you love brisket and fudge equally, you also have a compulsion to make decor choices while in a gas station. Also, you probably have hoarder tendencies.Share your results on Instagram and Twitter with tag #PopcastMom
9.
Little Caesars Mom
Image Source
Like the pizza, you also consider yourself hot and ready. For what? You have no idea but you are a social butterfly and extroverted so as long as it is with other people, you don’t care. As a mom, though you technically can cook, you’re more about that fast and casual lifestyle. To you, paper plates that can handle heaping portions of fast food > fine china any day.Share your results on Instagram and Twitter with tag #PopcastMom
10.
Subway Mom
Image Source
You like Jimmy John’s sandwiches more, but you prefer Subway because you love when people are obligated to do what you say. You love your family primarily through micromanaging and passive aggression. You micro-manage to assure their long-term happiness and efficiency and your passive aggression is a relational compromise keeping the frothing tsunami of rage at bay. You also take a lot of pride in the fact that you could just tell something was off about Jared from Subway before everything came out.Share your results on Instagram and Twitter with tag #PopcastMom
11.
Old Country Buffet Mom
Image Source
You are the enigma of parenting, a paradox wrapped in a casserole dish. Before kids, you seriously considered a career as a Coyote Ugly bartender, and now, as an Alpha Sports Mom, you often find yourself wondering how you got here. You navigate the realms of parenting with calculated efficiency, making your home a well-oiled machine of structure and gentle discipline with kids that strive for excellence. But the moment you step foot into the realm of the buffet or venture through the glorious doors of a Home Goods, all rules fly out the window and you finally let your hair down and indulge. Share your results on Instagram and Twitter with tag #PopcastMom
12.
You’re clearly not a mom at all mom
Image Source
Nice try. We're on to you. Someone made you take this quiz.Share your results on Instagram and Twitter with tag #PopcastMom
13.
Protein Bar Mom
Image Source
You’re on the go a lot, partially because that’s your season in life, but partially because you feel at home in chaos much like Bane felt nurtured and raised by darkness. So whether or not you are as on the go as you say, a protein bar is your primary food identifier because of how reliant upon it you are for the tidy consolidation of nutritional value it offers. But you’re also codependent on your protein bars because they’ve basically become your primary affectation. You may have lost your identity because of work, kids, marriage, or Pickleball, but your protein bar is a holy grail of personification. Atticus Finch had his pipe, Dorothy had her ruby slippers, and you have your GD protein bar. Does it matter that the bar itself tastes and smells like broken dreams, burnt tires, and the undercarriage of a surly sea captain? NOT AT ALL. Is it important that a box of them costs the same as Brazil’s yearly GDP? Inflation, am I right!?!The only thing that matters is your fanatical devotion to this protein bar and its ability to give you hope in the hopeless places of carlines, traffic to soccer practice, and school field trips that somehow require 8 legal adult guardians for each attending child.Share your results on Instagram and Twitter with tag #PopcastMom
14.
Dr. Meal Plan / Mrs. Takeout
Image Source
Your second favorite thing to do on Sundays, “besides going to Church” you say to anyone who asks even though you stopped going to church years ago, is to sit down at a table with your planner, a hot cup of coffee, a Taylor playlist scoring the scene all to begin creating another list for your weekly meal planning.This list-making informs your later trip to the grocery store where you will painstakingly walk down every aisle assuming the positive intent of your future culinary and domestic self. “Where are those garbanzo beans?” you ask yourself aloud and performatively. “I want to try micro slow roasting them so I can munch on some chickpeas and hummus throughout the week.” And while you do *want* to “munch on some chickpeas and hummus” throughout the week, you are also aware that nothing in your previous decades of time on this Earth suggests that you will actually do this.In fact, this entire meal-planning process is a charade meant to conceal the Sisyphean struggle wherein you routinely load up the pantry and fridge with fresh, wholesome ingredients, only to be way-laid and sucker-punched by the week to come with all its dystopian needs and relentless demands. All of this meaning that despite having cabinets full of fresh food and nutrient-dense ingredients, you end up doing the drive-of-shame to Cook Out four out of five nights, which leaves such an impression on the Cook Out staff that the manager, a man named Grady Van Peabody, personally thanks you for your part in keeping their business afloat during these tough economic times. Which is why before beginning your second favorite thing to do on Sundays, you did your first favorite thing: purging all the rotten produce, thawed-out-but-now-expired meat, and gluten-free bread from your kitchen all so that you can start a NEW meal plan for the week because this is a new week and you really do want to munch on those chickpeas and hummus. Hope and optimism may not be a plan, but they are your plan. Share your results on Instagram and Twitter with tag #PopcastMom
15.
Panera Bread Mom
Image Source
When you were younger and wilder at heart, you used to take it personally when people described Panera Bread as “you mean that hospital food lol,” so much so that you would defend the menu with its various Choose Twos and fresh but deliciously ingrediented salads. But eventually, on a long walk one day after a light snow that was softly melting into the grass, you realized that actually, it didn’t matter. None of the hospital food allusions affected your experience of the Fuji Apple Chicken Salad or a Cinnamon Crunch bagel.And upon having this epiphany, which coincidentally occurred at a time in your life when you didn’t believe God spoke to people audibly or even inaudibly, you felt an inaudible but loudly indelible sentiment in the core of your being.The sentiment itself was a holy mantra, one that you’ve never forgotten and probably never will: “Haters gonna hate, but baguettes will always plate” To you, in this Pauline moment of revelation and affirmation, you were confronted with the reality that not only did God exist, and not only was God involved in the daily details of our lives, but that this supreme entity of being, purpose, and love, also acknowledged the perfection of the Panera baguette. Which then made you chuckle to yourself after remembering Jesus’s transubstantiation because OF COURSE God loved baguettes, which, in turn, obviously confirmed that God loved Panera Bread.Which all this is just a very long and gentle way of telling you that you are a mom ripe for religious deconstruction. Like the religion of your youth, you only accept Panera Bread because it was marketed to you long ago as delicious and healthy when, really, it isn’t all that different from other fast-casual establishments, it stubbornly holds to its outdated menu offerings and refuses to take.Share your results on Instagram and Twitter with tag #PopcastMom
16.
Leftovers Goblin Mom
Image Source
“If moms were ranked by their mom abilities, you’d be in the top 1 percentile” someone once told you. You just smiled and said, “It’s not a competition,” even though in your heart of hearts, you believe it IS a competition because you believe EVERYTHING is a competition. Achievements, perceptions, performances, and the ascension up the corporate and social hierarchies are your galvanizing force and reason for being. You are ordered and strategic while also being spontaneous and delightful causing your partner to often joke about how you’re so perfect that it’s almost scary and how they sometimes worry that you might secretly be a serial killer. You both laugh and maintain eye contact over this shared joke, but you always hold their gaze longer than they can hold yours because deep down, you know your secret is a sort of serial killing given that you are a Leftovers Goblin. You try to hide this dark passenger of yours and keep control but Leftovers Goblins can never be held at bay long. Holding a normal form during waking hours is easy, but at night, when the sun sets and the moon begins to ascend into the sky, the beast is released and you take your elemental form as a creature with no honor about food leftover property rights. Your son’s birthday cake? GONE. The candy left inside the birthday piñata? CONSUMED.Your partner’s half-finished plate of, his favorite, Pollo Loco? ADIOS.Your sister’s wedding cake? DIVORCED FROM EXISTENCE AS IT RESIDES IN YOUR STOMACH NOW.By day, you promise to adhere to the ownership of the leftover claimants, but by night, you are ungovernable and unscrupulous, so much so that you deny any involvement in the disappearance of the leftovers and often throw blame and suspicion on others.The worst part of all though is that your primeval compulsions at scarfing down leftover food has no respect for time or expiration dates and even less decorum when consuming them. It could be a forgotten Beef Lo Mein retrieved from a darkened corner of the fridge, its dilapidated takeout container revealing that it’s origin dates back to a night from Obama’s first term in office…..AS A SENATOR.But you’ll still greedily slurp the congealed meat juice and mummified beef into your gaping and unrighteous goblin maw.Which is why you are the embodiment of the idea that still waters run deep. Very, very hungrily deep.Share your results on Instagram and Twitter with tag #PopcastMom
17.
Starbucks Empties In the Backseat Mom
Image Source
You are a collector. Some might call you a hoarder, but you know that isn’t true. And even though at any point in time, seventeen empty Starbucks cups that were formerly filled and manifested by the caffeinated spirit of the Iced Brown Sugar Oat Milk Shaken Espresso can be found rolling around in your car, you know that hoarding is about a desire to hold all things at once so as not to miss out on anything. But you are different because you are only interested in the narrow precision of what you want and are interested in, which, through another lens and by another name is just loyalty, isn’t it? And it just so happens that friendship loyalty is your fundamental essence. When a friend calls to vent about their partner, parent, or in-law, you don’t play devil’s advocate or offer advice on how to fix things; you wait until your friend says the F-word and you chime in with “YEAH!”Which is why it isn’t any surprise that your favorite scene in movie history is from The Town when Ben Affleck says to Jeremy Renner, “I need your help. I can’t tell you what it is, you can never ask me about it later, and we’re gonna hurt some people.” When Renner dramatically pauses before responding, “Whose car are we gonna take?” you feel yourself born anew in that moment every… single… time.All your life, you’ve been dying for a friend to bring a situation like that to you, because you don’t hoard your time and attention. You parcel it out carefully and specifically in the form of loyalty, which is why your response wouldn’t even be “whose car are we taking.” No, you’d already be in the driver’s seat, shifting out of park and ready to go wherever your friend needs with those seventeen empty Starbucks cups rolling around in the backseat in tow.Share your results on Instagram and Twitter with tag #PopcastMom

Are you a Chick-Fil-A Mom or Taco Bell Mom?

Take our Popcast Pop Quiz to see what kind of mom you really are

Quiz Questions

Quiz Outcomes