What's your current parenting style?

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Quiz Questions

1.
You find your child’s backpack and contents sprawled across the table when you go to set it for dinner. You know it will take them 10 minutes or more to take care of it properly. How do you handle it?
- A.
  You haven’t got time to wait on your kid to take care of it. You put everything where it goes. You don’t mention it to your kid.
- B.
  You’re tired of living with your kid's daily messes. You summon your child to come immediately, voice stern. When they arrive, you express your frustration and anger loudly and mightily. You may say, “Why can’t you just clean up after yourself like your sister?” Then you take their screen time for the rest of the day.
- C.
  You don’t want to fight with your kid yet again, so you put everything where it goes.
- D.
  You know your child has had a tough day at school and you don’t want to make their life any harder, so you put everything where it goes. You don’t mention it to your kid.
- E.
  You know your child needs to pick up after themself so they can learn the skills. You call them calmly and ask them to clean up the table. You give explicit directions at every move and frequently try to redirect them to do it in the way that makes sense to you.
- F.
  You know your child needs to pick up after themself so they can learn the skills. You call your child calmly and say, “I’m noticing your backpack and school papers on the table.” Then you wait quietly for a response. If they realize what they need to do and take care of it, great. If not, you offer to do it together and start tidying it up. You know this is the best way to teach skills and make expectations doable.
2.
You’re sitting with them and trying to help, but your child is struggling to get homework done. Their emotions are getting bigger and bigger the more you remind them to stay on task. Suddenly, your kid stands up, wads up the worksheet, and ceremoniously drops it in the trash. How do you respond?
- A.
  You are angry, and feel rightfully so. Homework has to be done — that’s life. You're giving your time to help your child and they just disrespect you like that. You snap and yell. You demand that they get their paper out of the trash, flatten it out, and get it done. You also dole out a punishment for the disrespect.
- B.
  You walk on eggshells to not upset your child. You let them walk away and do something else. You know any attempt at correction will either cause an angry tirade or crying for hours, so you don’t bother.
- C.
  You get the paper out of the trash and ask your child to come back. "We can get through it together," you say calmly. You tell them every step to take, including the answers sometimes. You even put it in their backpack for them when it’s finished. You want your kid to succeed so good grades are necessary.
- D.
  You realize that your kid has a lot of hurdles to “getting schoolwork done.” You recognize that they struggle with planning, sequencing, etc., which make math worksheets feel overwhelming and impossible. You give them some time alone to regulate their emotions. Then you ask to talk about how you can help them do homework with less frustration. You listen to their input and then work together to come up with solutions.
- E.
  You have overwhelming compassion and empathy for your child’s struggle. It’s clear that homework upsets them so you decide to let it go and start fresh tomorrow. There’s no sense in talking about it because it will only upset them again.
3.
Your child is unwilling to bathe tonight, even though it’s been 2 days since they bathed last. What do you do?
- A.
  You can’t bathe for your child (you would if you could), so you try to provide accommodations to get your kid in the shower without a fight. You offer to start the water, get their clean pajamas for them, play YouTube videos, and even give them ice cream as soon as they get done.
- B.
  You respond with empathy and ask your child how you can help them get it done. You want to be compassionate, but you also need them to take care of their hygiene because you know poor hygiene can cause more social problems than they already have.
- C.
  You tell your child you can get it done quickly together. You grab their clean pajamas and go into the bathroom together. You turn on the water and help them get undressed. Every couple of minutes you instruct them on the next step of washing. You tell them they must do a good job if they want friends. When they finish, you help them dry off and get dressed, comb their hair, then praise them for 10 minutes.
- D.
  You invite your child to sit with you to discuss it You ask why they don’t want to take a bath today. You listen and reflect back what you hear them saying. You remind them that regular bathing is a rule and offer support and strategies. After they’re done, you ask them how it feels to have taken care of it.
- E.
  You scream and yell, that’s what. Taking a shower is just part of life and your kid is just going to have to accept that. How dare they backtalk you in the first place.
4.
Your two kids are bickering AGAIN. It seems like they fight every day at 4:30 pm. The baby is sleeping and you are trying to prep for cooking dinner. How do you handle it?
- A.
  Nuh-uh. You storm in the room telling sharing how angry you are through gritted teeth — you’d shout if the baby weren’t sleeping. You grab each by the arm and move them to separate corners. “If you wake the baby,” you say, “you won’t have screen time for the rest of the week!”
- B.
  Leave your kids in the other room unattended while you’re in the kitchen? You’d never! You have to keep an eye on them at all times. They’re sitting at the kitchen table with pencil and paper to draw. You check on them every couple minutes.
- C.
  You send the kids out into the yard to play so they can’t wake the baby and you can get things done.
- D.
  You take a break to help the kids. You ask what happened and then how they could handle it differently next time. Then you invite them to help you cook dinner.
- E.
  You go into the room and remind the kids that we must be kind to our siblings and that we don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or have our feelings hurt. You remind them to “play nice” as you head back to the kitchen.
5.
It feels like one never-ending battle with your kid. They argue about everything you say or ask them to do. Today they want to go play with friends. You want them to get their reading homework done first and you’ve been arguing about it for 30 minutes. Without the arguing, the reading would be done already. How do you proceed?
- A.
  You recognize that asking your kid to do reading first felt like you were saying "no" altogether, because later feels like never. So you try to walk through solving this problem collaboratively to find a solution that can work for both of you. They end up playing one hour first them come home and complete the reading.
- B.
  You're done! You can’t take one more second of the argumentativeness. You tell your child to go away… “I don’t want you around when you act like that.”
- C.
  You decide to sacrifice your time to help them get their reading done and get to play quickly. You sit together and read the two chapters they were assigned. Then you drive them down to their friend’s house so they don’t miss any more play time.
- D.
  You say “no” to playing because you’re not comfortable with your kid being at someone else’s house alone. Then you help your child break down their reading homework into smaller parts and guide them through each one, even telling them words when they’re struggling to sound it out. There’s no sense in adding more fuel to their big emotions.
- E.
  Homework and outdoor play are both important but school should be the top priority to create a successful life. You offer to help with the homework so they will have time to play as well.
6.
You took your kid to the playground after school. They are attempting to play with a child they don’t know. What do you do?
- A.
  You run to the rescue! That kid may not want to play with them and might tell them in a mean way. You lurk nearby so you can prevent any hurt feelings.
- B.
  Your kid doesn't have great social skills so you walk over and introduce your kid so it isn’t potentially awkward or off-putting.
- C.
  On the drive to the park you talk about what they hope to do at the playground. You also review how to introduce yourself and let them know that you’ll be on the bench reading if they need help.
- D.
  You tell them what to say to the kid they don’t know to see if they can play together. You don’t hover over them, but you listen and watch intensely.
- E.
  Excuse me! Homework must always be done before play, no exceptions. You don’t go to the playground after school. You go straight home to do homework first.
7.
Your kid is playing video games online with friends. You told them it’s time for dinner 5 minutes ago and they’re still playing. How do you get them to the dinner table?
- A.
  Unacceptable! You tell them they’ve lost gaming privileges for the rest of the week and demand that they join the family at the dinner table right that instant. There's no question you're pissed.
- B.
  You tell your kid that you can see that they haven’t reached a good stopping point and ask them how much longer they need. They tell you 5 minutes and you agree to that extension as long as they come to dinner at that time.
- C.
  No way, Jose. You stand over your child and remind them every 60 seconds that it’s time for dinner. You can’t trust them to stop playing in a reasonable amount of time on their own.
- D.
  You had a conversation with your kid before they got online outlining the expectation that they come to dinner at 6 pm. You asked them what they thought each of you could do to help make this happen. You remind them calmly that they agreed to stop for dinner at 6 pm and ask how you can help them follow through on the agreement.
8.
🧠 What is your knowledge and skill level around neurodiversity?
- A.
  Newbie here! I don't even know where to start. I haven't made any headway since my kid's recent diagnosis.
- B.
  We're still struggling. What I've been doing isn't working. I'm not new, but I clearly have more to learn about my approach.
- C.
  I'm knowledgeable but I know there's more to learn. I've learned a lot about my kid's diagnosis, but I'm always open to learning more. There's still room for improvement.

Quiz Outcomes

1.
You're a... GUARDIAN
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You’re compassionate, warm, loving, and supportive which fosters a strong bond with your child. You set clear expectations and foster both independence and your child’s autonomy. Your willingness to offer empathy and validation opens the door for meaningful connection.While Guardian-style parenting is associated with positive outcomes for kids and teens, it requires a careful balance of warmth and boundaries, consistent communication, and a willingness to adapt to your kid’s individual needs and circumstances. Intentional effort, consistent practice, and ongoing learning is necessary to effectively find balance. Be cautious of the potential pitfalls and always let your child be your guide.
2.
You’re a... HOVERER
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While a Hoverer's intentions are to be protective, it often presents in a controlling and overbearing approach, prioritizing obedience, academic success, safety, and social acceptance. As a Hoverer, you may struggle to allow your child or teen autonomy and independence, instead micromanaging and controlling many aspects of their life. Again, you intend to love and protect your child, but it actually limits them from becoming an independent and authentic version of themselves.When you prioritize academic success, safety, and social acceptance, you will likely struggle to foster autonomy and independence, but these are some of the most important characteristics of successful adults. Protecting kids from hurt and danger often prevents them from becoming the self-reliant individual they're meant to be.
3.
You’re a... PEACEKEEPER
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Pros: defender, mediator/referee, Cons: enabler, exhausted, overly positive denying the struggle, permissive, few or no rules, ignores negative behavior, gives in easily, rarely says no, child doesn’t learn problem-solving skillsSuperpower: Mediation
4.
You’re a... DOER
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Pros: giver, helper, Cons: perfectionist, exhausted, executive/frontal lobe, keeps kid from learning skills to do for themselves, robs child of autonomy, micro-managing, child doesn’t learn problem-solving skillsSuperpower: Gets Things Done
5.
You’re an... ENFORCER
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Pros: warrior, predictableCons: authoritarian, broken rules = consequences (crime and punishment), rigid and inflexible, controlling, creates anxious kids, robs child of autonomy, fear-basedSuperpower: Predictability
6.
You’re a... GUIDE
Pros: just-right support with compassion, open minded, optimistic nature, see the bigger picture, trusting, gentle, builds relationship and trust, collaborative, predictableCons: too few boundaries, not enough structureSuperpower: Collaboration