What's your sexual attachment style?

Quiz Questions

• 1.
  When you think about intimacy, what's your gut reaction?

  • A.
    I'm excited and open to exploring the depths of my desires.
  • B.
    I feel a mix of eagerness and anxiety about getting close.
  • C.
    I prefer to keep things light and avoid getting too deep.
  • D.
    I want intimacy, but I'm afraid of getting hurt.
• 2.
  How do you prefer to communicate your desires to a partner?

  • A.
    Directly and confidently, I know what I want.
  • B.
    I hint at my desires, but worry about their reaction.
  • C.
    I rarely share, as I don't want to seem too needy.
  • D.
    I'm conflicted about sharing, fearing rejection.
• 3.
  What's your approach to trying new experiences in the bedroom?

  • A.
    I'm game for anything that can enhance our connection.
  • B.
    I'm open to it, but I need reassurance that it's okay.
  • C.
    I'm hesitant and prefer sticking to what I know.
  • D.
    I'm curious but scared it might lead to more attachment.
• 4.
  During intimate moments, how do you feel about eye contact?

  • A.
    It's a beautiful way to deepen our connection.
  • B.
    I enjoy it, but sometimes I feel self-conscious.
  • C.
    I find it intense and often look away.
  • D.
    It's overwhelming and I'm afraid of what it might mean.
• 5.
  How do you feel about post-intimacy cuddling?

  • A.
    I love it—it's an essential part of the experience for me.
  • B.
    It's comforting, but I sometimes wonder if I'm too clingy.
  • C.
    I'm not a big fan; I need my space after.
  • D.
    I like it, but I'm cautious about sending the wrong signals.
• 6.
  What's your stance on using toys or props in the bedroom?

  • A.
    I'm all for it if it adds to our mutual pleasure.
  • B.
    I'm interested, but I worry it might be too much.
  • C.
    I prefer to keep things simple and straightforward.
  • D.
    I'm intrigued, but hesitant about the emotional implications.
• 7.
  How do you handle conflicts or disagreements about intimacy with your partner?

  • A.
    We discuss it openly and work towards a solution together.
  • B.
    I get anxious and might give in to avoid conflict.
  • C.
    I tend to withdraw and avoid the conversation.
  • D.
    I feel torn between addressing it and fearing the outcome.
• 8.
  When it comes to initiating intimacy, how do you usually feel?

  • A.
    Confident and comfortable taking the lead.
  • B.
    Nervous, but I do it seeking validation and closeness.
  • C.
    Reluctant, I prefer my partner to initiate.
  • D.
    Conflicted, wanting to but afraid of being too forward.
• 9.
  How do you feel about discussing your sexual fantasies with your partner?

  • A.
    I'm open and excited to share and explore together.
  • B.
    I'm willing to share, but I fear judgment or rejection.
  • C.
    I keep them to myself; it's not worth the potential drama.
  • D.
    I'm hesitant, as it might lead to more emotional entanglement.
• 10.
  How do you react when your partner expresses a new desire or interest in the bedroom?

  • A.
    I'm intrigued and willing to discuss how we can incorporate it.
  • B.
    I'm open to it but might need reassurance that I'm still enough.
  • C.
    I might feel threatened or dismissive of the idea.
  • D.
    I'm worried it could change the dynamic too much.
• 11.
  How do you feel about your partner seeing you in a vulnerable state during intimacy?

  • A.
    It's a natural part of being close and I embrace it.
  • B.
    It's scary, but I crave the closeness it can bring.
  • C.
    I dislike it and often try to maintain a sense of control.
  • D.
    It's intimidating, and I fear it might lead to dependency.

Quiz Outcomes

• 1.
  Secure

  Image Source

  Securely attached individuals had generally available, responsive parents. As a result, they tend to like themselves and feel comfortable and safe with others. Intimately, they are more likely to lower their defenses and experience positive feelings toward sex. Securely attached partners will ask for what they need and feel comfortable declining things they do not. As a securely attached partner, you have a good connection between your mind and body, which gives signals of “yes, please” or “no, thank you.” You are a curious, responsive, generous lover who enjoys the journey and the “destination.”
• 2.
  Anxious

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  Anxiously attached people are more likely to sexualize wants or needs, but simultaneously experience aversive feelings about intimacy and closeness. They tend to put others in positive light but may not feel so confident or worthy about themselves. They may want to initiate or participate in sexual contact, but also feel fear and doubt about all the things that could go wrong. They may overly accommodate their partner—sometimes sidelining their own needs and wants to keep the peace or keep the relationship. Anxiously attached people may feel easily jealous, so transparency is helpful. They may feel self-conscious or preoccupied about how they look, smell, taste or sound during sexual play, so positive feedback is welcome. They want to just let go, but they struggle to stop spectatoring. They like the attention and really benefit from post-sex cuddling.
• 3.
  Avoidant Dismissive

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  Their relational style looks like rugged independence—including sometimes avoiding intimacy, close relationships, and vulnerability. They have a positive self-image but might be slower to trust partners. Initially, they may seem to be armored up and slow to commit. They are more likely to masturbate (inherently solo and not psychologically demanding like partnered sex) and/or pursue casual sex because it requires less emotionally. Feeling discomfort when their partner expresses negative emotions, they may dismiss feelings (theirs or yours) to keep a safe distance. Intimacy requires openness, so they do best with consistent, direct, but kind feedback that feels constructive. For example, “I like it best when you touch me X way.” These individuals may ignore threats to the relationship (conflict conversations or jealousy about others). They don’t easily tap into the spontaneous or playful, nor do they feel comfort with intense, erotic moments of lust and sustained eye contact.
• 4.
  Fearful-Disorganized

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  They tend to be hard on themselves and less trusting of others. They are often confused and therefore inconsistent in relationships because they feel unsure of what they want. They are slower to trust and to be vulnerable erotically. Fearful avoidant people feel things deeply but may struggle to express themselves. They both want and fear closeness, so they often send mixed messages and potentially run from close situations due to overwhelm. This dynamic feels confusing for their partner who can’t predict how their efforts at closeness will play out. Sometimes they engage and other times they may seem shut down or unreachable after a bump in the relationship.