What's your attachment style?

Quiz Questions

• 1.
  You feel confident communicating your personal boundaries...

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  • A.
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    Yes! If someone crosses one of my boundaries, I usually let them know...
  • B.
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    No! I rarely confront people...  Even if they are making me uncomfortable.
• 2.
  Your significant other gets a text but won't tell you who it's from, what do you do?

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  • A.
    I change the subject like it's no big deal, but, inside, all my alarm bells are ringing.
  • B.
    I ask them why they are acting so secretive. If they've got nothing to hide, they should just tell me...
  • C.
    I respect their choice. They have a right to their privacy, and I trust their judgement.
  • D.
    I wait until they leave to use the washroom then check their phone. I won't be left out of the loop!
• 3.
  Your partner brings up a mental health-related issue they've been facing, how do you react?

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  • A.
    I feel my anxiety levels rise, take a few deep breaths, and do my best to listen.
  • B.
    I hear them out, let them know that I love them no matter what, and encourage them to seek professional help.
  • C.
    I tell them that whatever they need, they can always count on me – I'm available 24/7.
  • D.
    I ask them to give me a second, run to the washroom to gather myself, then return and listen to whatever they have to say.
• 4.
  You expect the worst to happen in your relationships...

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  • A.
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    Yes! It's better to expect the worst than be taken by surprise when it happens, which it usually does...
  • B.
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    No! Pessimism is a burden to any relationship. What's the point in trying if you already know how it'll end?
• 5.
  You feel responsible for your significant other's safety...

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  • A.
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    Yes! It's my job to protect them and ensure no harm comes their way.
  • B.
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    No! Of course I want them to be safe, but it's not my responsibility.
• 6.
  Can I trust you with my secrets?

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  • A.
    Uhm, you might be better off spilling your secrets to someone with tighter lips...
  • B.
    Heck yeah! If you've got something to say, I'm here to hear it. And not tell anyone.
  • C.
    Honestly, I'd rather not know the nitty-gritty details of your life. We haven't even met...
  • D.
    Yes, please tell me your secrets – I definitely won't use them as blackmail later on...
• 7.
  You and your significant other are in a heated argument, how do you repair the disharmony?

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  • A.
    I apologize for hurting their feelings, calmly explain my perspective, then we work together towards a resolution.
  • B.
    I beg them not to hate me – seriously, I'll do whatever it takes! I can't handle the thought of losing them.
  • C.
    I tell them I can't take their drama, then I grab my jacket and hit the road. Maybe time apart will help us cool off.
  • D.
    I throw a glass of water at them then immediately start apologizing and telling them how much I love them.
• 8.
  How do you feel when your friends and family tell you they love you?

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  • A.
    It makes me feel a bit nervous – they must have an ulterior motive.
  • B.
    I feel content! I love my folks, and they love me!
  • C.
    It calms me down and reassures me. Sometimes I wonder if they secretly can't stand me...
  • D.
    I feel confused... Maybe a bit happy, maybe a bit scared.
• 9.
  Your significant other leaves for a business trip, how do you react?

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  • A.
    I hold back my tears while saying goodbye, but as soon as their taxi pulls away, I start sobbing.
  • B.
    I wish them the best! I'll miss them for the couple days they are gone, but we'll be together again soon.
  • C.
    Honestly, I'm annoyed. They should've told me about the trip sooner, so I could've come along...
  • D.
    I make a point of not texting them. I don't want them to know how much I miss them when they leave.
• 10.
  You feel relaxed around your friends and family...

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  • A.
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    Yes! If anything, hanging out with my friends and family calms me down.
  • B.
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    No! You never know what could happen, so my defences are usually up.

Quiz Outcomes

• 1.
  You Have a Secure Attachment Style

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  Congratulations! Your responses indicate that you have a secure attachment style. Individuals with a secure attachment style feel comfortable with both intimacy and independence in relationships, allowing them to navigate challenges with confidence and trust. You may be attracted to partners who share similar secure attachment patterns, fostering mutual respect, and emotional connection. In relationships, you can expect to experience a sense of stability and security, characterized by open communication, mutual support, and emotional intimacy.Those of us who test for having a secure attachment style tend to have one of the insecure styles as a prominent second. Here are some specific points of growth to help foster growing more deeply into your secure style. 1. Identify which of the insecure styles is most prominent for you and understand the points of growth for that style as they will likely be very relevent for you.2. Practice active listening and empathy to better understand needs and feelings for both you and others in relationships.3. Nurture your own sense of self-worth and independence outside of relationships.4. Stay attuned to your own emotions and needs, and express them assertively when necessary.5. Seek opportunities for growth and connection, both individually and with a partner, to strengthen your bond over time.Let's be friends! Allow me to introduce myself...Hey there, and welcome – My name is Shane Kohler, and I specialize in bridging relational psychology and science with spirituality and ancient wisdom to teach a profound exploration of conscious relationships you won't find anywhere else!I've been in the field of healing and transformation for over a decade and I've been certified by some of the originators of the work, I've personally coached thousands of people and have a community reaching over 200,000. I have a top 10% podcast called The Conscious Love Show I host weekly, and I personally created and designed the Inspired Love Program. Want to work together? Here's how The Inspired Love Program can help you deepen your secure attachment style: 1. Uncover Your Early Relational Experiences and How They Shaped You: Explore how your relationship with your parents and other early relational experiences shaped how you relate with others, yourself, and life as a whole. Recognize and develop your assets while bringing awareness and healing to your limitations. 2. Understand Your Attachment Wounds and Learn to Work with Them: Week by week, we'll uncover your attachment patterns as they show up in relationships and other areas of your life and guide you in how to work with them to relate more securely. 3. Continued Growth and Expansion in Relationships: Through the curriculum, the community, and the weekly coaching sessions, you remain in a constant state of growth and expansion around conscious love in the most exhilarating way!4. Heal Somatically: Using various forms of meditation, breathwork, and other somatic modalities, we work with the body energetics and nervous system to bring balance and regulation to the system while releasing stagnant energy that no longer serves you. 5. Promote Secure Attachments: Work within a context of secure, healthy interaction and relationship with myself, the coaches, and other participants in the group. The high-level, conscious interaction we maintain in the program sets the bar for all relationships in your life. In the program you will...Get access to a widely acclaimed healing curriculum that covers everything from energy and vibration, to inner-child healing, to shame release, to somatic work, while also covering the basics of conscious dating and relationship building.Unlimited access to monthly workshops and somatic healing sessions.Join weekly live coaching calls with Me!One of the most loving and supportive communities you'll ever find with like-minded people sharing their experience, strength, and hope.Access continued opportunities for growth and healing including meditations, breathwork, coaching, specialized workshops, and more! More than anything, I want you to know that you are not alone in this journey and I know it can feel so lonely at times. Support is here and I'd love to welcome you into our amazing community and help you create the secure, conscious love you're seeking or deepen the beautiful relationship you're building now.If you'd like to book a free discovery call to meet one of our coaches, learn about the program and find out if it's the right thing for you, please book your call at the link below.
• 2.
  You Have an Avoidant Attachment Style 

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  Your quiz responses suggest that you display characteristics of an avoidant attachment style. Individuals with an avoidant attachment style often prioritize independence and self-sufficiency in relationships, preferring to keep their emotions guarded to avoid vulnerability and potential rejection. You may be attracted to partners who respect your need for space and autonomy but struggle to fully connect on an emotional level. In relationships, you may find it challenging to express your feelings or rely on your partner for support, leading to a sense of emotional distance and detachment.To foster growth and cultivate healthier relationships, here are five specific next steps for you:1. Practice vulnerability and gradually open up in relationships about your thoughts and feelings.2. Challenge your fear of intimacy by engaging in small acts of emotional sharing and connection.3. Seek therapy or counseling to explore the root causes of your avoidant attachment style and work on developing secure attachment patterns.4. Learn to identify and communicate your needs in relationships, even if it feels uncomfortable at first.5. Cultivate self-awareness and mindfulness to recognize when you're withdrawing emotionally and take steps to reconnect with your partner.Let's be friends! Allow me to introduce myself...Hey there, and welcome – My name is Shane Kohler, and I specialize in bridging relational psychology and science with spirituality and ancient wisdom to teach a profound exploration of conscious relationships you won't find anywhere else!I've been in the field of healing and transformation for over a decade and I've been certified by some of the originators of the work, I've personally coached thousands of people and have a community reaching over 200,000. I have a top 10% podcast called The Conscious Love Show I host weekly, and I personally created and designed the Inspired Love Program. Want to work together? Here's how The Inspired Love Program can help you heal your avoidant attachment style: 1. Uncover Your Early Relational Experiences and How They Shaped You: Explore how your relationship with your parents and other early relational experiences shaped how you relate with others, yourself, and life as a whole. Recognize and develop your assets while bringing awareness and healing to your limitations. 2. Understand Your Attachment Wounds and Learn to Work with Them: Week by week, we'll uncover your attachment patterns as they show up in relationships and other areas of your life and guide you in how to work with them to relate more securely. 3. Practice Vulnerability in a Safe Environment: If you want to be able to connect more deeply in relationships, you need to find safe places to practice vulnerability and the program offers that on a weekly basis.4. Heal Somatically: Using various forms of meditation, breathwork, and other somatic modalities, we work with the body energetics and nervous system to bring balance and regulation to the system while releasing stagnant energy that no longer serves you. 5. Promote Secure Attachments: Work within a context of secure, healthy interaction and relationship with myself, the coaches, and other participants in the group. The high-level, conscious interaction we maintain in the program sets the bar for all relationships in your life. In the program you will...Get access to a widely acclaimed healing curriculum that covers everything from energy and vibration, to inner-child healing, to shame release, to somatic work, while also covering the basics of conscious dating and relationship building.Unlimited access to monthly workshops and somatic healing sessions.Join weekly live coaching calls with Me!Be in one of the most loving and supportive communities you'll ever find with like-minded people sharing their experience, strength, and hope.Access continued opportunities for growth and healing including meditations, breathwork, coaching, specialized workshops, and more! More than anything, I want you to know that you are not alone in this journey and I know it can feel so lonely at times. Support is here and I'd love to welcome you into our amazing community and help you create the secure, conscious love you're seeking or deepen the beautiful relationship you're building now.If you'd like to book a free discovery call to meet one of our coaches, learn about the program and find out if it's the right thing for you, please book your call at the link below.
• 3.
  You Have an Anxious Attachment Style

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  Based on your responses, it seems like you exhibit traits of an anxious attachment style. Individuals with an anxious attachment style often have a deep-seated fear of abandonment and seek reassurance and validation from their partners. This may lead to clingy behavior and a heightened sensitivity to perceived threats in the relationship. You may be attracted to partners who provide a sense of security and stability, but may also find yourself in relationships where your anxieties are heightened. In relationships, you may experience intense emotional highs and lows, often driven by a fear of rejection or loss.To foster growth and cultivate healthier relationships, here are five specific next steps for you:1. Practice mindfulness and self-awareness to recognize and manage anxious thoughts and emotions.2. Communicate openly and honestly with your partner about your needs and insecurities.3. Develop a strong support network outside of your romantic relationship to cultivate a sense of security and self-worth.4. Challenge negative beliefs about yourself and your relationships through therapy or self-help resources.5. Prioritize self-care and engage in activities that promote self-love and confidence.Let's be friends! Allow me to introduce myself...Hey there, and welcome – My name is Shane Kohler, and I specialize in bridging relational psychology and science with spirituality and ancient wisdom to teach a profound exploration of conscious relationships you won't find anywhere else!I've been in the field of healing and transformation for over a decade and I've been certified by some of the originators of the work, I've personally coached thousands of people and have a community reaching over 200,000. I have a top 10% podcast called The Conscious Love Show I host weekly, and I personally created and designed the Inspired Love Program. Want to work together? Here's how The Inspired Love Program can help you heal your anxious attachment style:1. Uncover Your Early Relational Experiences and How They Shaped You: Explore how your relationship with your parents and other early relational experiences shaped how you relate with others, yourself, and life as a whole. Recognize and develop your assets while bringing awareness and healing to your limitations. 2. Understand Your Attachment Wounds and Learn to Work with Them: Week by week, we'll uncover your attachment patterns as they show up in relationships and other areas of your life and guide you in how to work with them to relate more securely. 3. Learn to Regulate Relational Anxiety and Improve Confidence: We'll work with you in real time to identify your needs, boundaries, and expectations and teach you how to communicate about them while helping you regulate your insecure experience of the situation and improve your confidence. 4. Heal Somatically: Using various forms of meditation, breathwork, and other somatic modalities, we work with the body energetics and nervous system to bring balance and regulation to the system while releasing stagnant energy that no longer serves you. 5. Promote Secure Attachments: Work within a context of secure, healthy interaction and relationship with myself, the coaches, and other participants in the group. The high-level, conscious interaction we maintain in the program sets the bar for all relationships in your life. In the program you will...Get access to a widely acclaimed healing curriculum that covers everything from energy and vibration, to inner-child healing, to shame release, to somatic work, while also covering the basics of conscious dating and relationship building.Unlimited access to monthly workshops and somatic healing sessions.Join weekly live coaching calls with Me!One of the most loving and supportive communities you'll ever find with like-minded people sharing their experience, strength, and hope.Access continued opportunities for growth and healing including meditations, breathwork, coaching, specialized workshops, and more! More than anything, I want you to know that you are not alone in this journey and I know it can feel so lonely at times. Support is here and I'd love to welcome you into our amazing community and help you create the secure, conscious love you're seeking or deepen the beautiful relationship you're building now.If you'd like to book a free discovery call to meet one of our coaches, learn about the program and find out if it's the right thing for you, please book your call at the link below.
• 4.
  You Have a Disorganized Attachment Style

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  Based on your quiz responses, you seem to exhibit traits of a disorganized attachment style. Individuals with a disorganized attachment style often experience conflicting emotions and behaviors in relationships, swinging between anxious and avoidant tendencies. This can lead to a sense of confusion and instability, both within themselves and in their relationships with others. You may be attracted to partners who provide a sense of security and stability, but may also find yourself in relationships characterized by inconsistency and unpredictability.To foster growth and cultivate healthier relationships, here are five specific next steps for you:1. Seek therapy or counseling to explore past experiences and traumas that may contribute to your disorganized attachment style.2. Practice self-compassion and acceptance as you navigate the complexities of your attachment patterns.3. Work on building emotional regulation skills to manage intense emotions and reactions in relationships.4. Learn to set boundaries and communicate your needs assertively, even amidst conflicting feelings.5. Cultivate self-awareness and mindfulness to recognize patterns of behavior and their impact on your relationships.Let's be friends? Allow me to introduce myself..Hey there, and welcome – My name is Shane Kohler, and I specialize in bridging relational psychology and science with spirituality and ancient wisdom to teach a profound exploration of conscious relationships you won't find anywhere else!I've been in the field of healing and transformation for over a decade and I've been certified by some of the originators of the work, I've personally coached thousands of people and have a community reaching over 200,000. I have a top 10% podcast called The Conscious Love Show I host weekly, and I personally created and designed the Inspired Love Program. Want to work together? Here's how The Inspired Love Program can help you heal your disorganized attachment style:1. Uncover Your Early Relational Experiences and How They Shaped You: Explore how your relationship with your parents and other early relational experiences shaped how you relate with others, yourself, and life as a whole. Recognize and develop your assets while bringing awareness and healing to your limitations. 2. Understand Your Attachment Wounds and Learn to Work with Them: Week by week, we'll uncover your attachment patterns as they show up in relationships and other areas of your life and guide you in how to work with them to relate more securely. 3. Learn to Regulate Relational Anxiety and Improve Confidence: We'll work with you in real time to identify your needs, boundaries, and expectations and teach you how to communicate about them while helping you regulate your insecure experience of the situation and improve your confidence. 4. Heal Somatically: Using various forms of meditation, breathwork, and other somatic modalities, we work with the body energetics and nervous system to bring balance and regulation to the system while releasing stagnant energy that no longer serves you. 5. Promote Secure Attachments: Work within a context of secure, healthy interaction and relationship with myself, the coaches, and other participants in the group. The high-level, conscious interaction we maintain in the program sets the bar for all relationships in your life. In the program you will...Get access to a widely acclaimed healing curriculum that covers everything from energy and vibration, to inner-child healing, to shame release, to somatic work, while also covering the basics of conscious dating and relationship building.Unlimited access to monthly workshops and somatic healing sessions.Join weekly live coaching calls with Me!One of the most loving and supportive communities you'll ever find with like-minded people sharing their experience, strength, and hope.Access continued opportunities for growth and healing including meditations, breathwork, coaching, specialized workshops, and more! More than anything, I want you to know that you are not alone in this journey and I know it can feel so lonely at times. Support is here and I'd love to welcome you into our amazing community and help you create the secure, conscious love you're seeking or deepen the beautiful relationship you're building now.If you'd like to book a free discovery call to meet one of our coaches, learn about the program and find out if it's the right thing for you, please book your call at the link below.