What's Your Attachment Style?

Quiz Questions

• 1.
  What statement best describes your response to being around people?

  • A.
    I feel energized.
  • B.
    I feel drained.
• 2.
  When faced with uncertainty, how do you typically respond?

  • A.
    I remain calm and seek support from loved ones.
  • B.
    I prefer to handle things on my own and keep my emotions to myself.
  • C.
    I feel anxious and seek reassurance frequently.
  • D.
    I get confused and have mixed feelings about seeking help.
• 3.
  How do you view your past relationships?

  • A.
    They were generally stable and fulfilling.
  • B.
    I often felt like I needed more space and independence.
  • C.
    I tended to worry a lot about the relationship's security.
  • D.
    They were intense and often had conflicting dynamics.
• 4.
  How do you usually handle emotional distress?

  • A.
    I express my feelings openly and seek comfort.
  • B.
    I distract myself and avoid discussing my emotions.
  • C.
    I feel overwhelmed and often need others to calm me down.
  • D.
    I have a hard time understanding my emotions and act unpredictably.
• 5.
  What's your approach to new relationships?

  • A.
    I enter them with trust and optimism.
  • B.
    I'm cautious and take a long time to open up.
  • C.
    I'm eager to connect but worry about being let down.
  • D.
    I'm uncertain and often send mixed signals.

Quiz Outcomes

• 1.
  SRA: Secure Attachment

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  That means that when you were an infant, your primary caregiver was “responsive” and emotionally attuned (in-tune) to your needs. While life can be unpredictable and chaotic, your mother remained a constant, predictable, and “secure base” for you to turn to with your fears and emotions and fostered your independence. Inner Working Model: “I am loved, and people will meet my needs. I can confidently explore my world and return when I need care and comfort.” You grew up feeling loved and supported, a separate person who learned, through their guidance, how to name your emotions, soothe your sadness, and see yourself as someone worthy of love and affection. Your early life experiences taught you to trust that other people would meet your needs and a “felt knowledge” that if you had a need, you would be found in those who loved you.
• 2.
  AAA: Avoidant Attachment

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  Avoidant attachment develops when primary caregivers are emotionally unavailable, unresponsive, or dismissive. These caregivers often meet physical needs but neglect emotional bonding. As a result, the child learns to rely on themselves, believing others won't meet their needs. They avoid seeking comfort or support, leading to a self-reliant and distrustful attitude. As adults, individuals with avoidant attachment may be emotionally distant, struggle with intimacy, and prefer independence over close relationships. They often avoid emotional expression, leading to difficulty in forming deep connections. They may seem aloof, have trouble asking for help, and experience discomfort with closeness or dependence. This attachment style results in a heightened risk of emotional isolation and difficulty in maintaining healthy, supportive relationships. Recognizing avoidant attachment involves learning to trust others, developing emotional awareness, and building healthier relational patterns.
• 3.
  AXA: Anxious Attachment

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  When primary caregivers engage in role reversal, hot/cold parenting, intrusive behaviors, intermittent rewards, self-absorption, and inconsistent responsiveness, it leads to insecure attachment. The child learns that their caregiver's attention and support are unpredictable, leading to an inner working model of "I cannot depend on my caregiver to meet my needs." As adults, these individuals may crave connection but simultaneously push others away, ignore caring behaviors, lack self-soothing skills, fear rejection, struggle with trust, misread cues negatively, experience separation distress, overfocus on others, and become emotionally overwhelmed. Over time, they become adept at numbing and dissociating from their pain, missing out on deep security and connection, and facing increased risks of adversity. Insecure attachments formed in childhood influence adult behaviors and reactions, revealing unresolved issues in every aspect of life.
• 4.
  DRA: Disorganized Attachment

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  Disorganized attachment develops when caregivers are inconsistent, threatening, or abusive, creating a chaotic and unsafe environment for the infant. This leads to an inner belief that needing others is dangerous, fostering self-reliance and control for safety. In adulthood, this attachment style shows sudden shifts, extreme dysregulation, and a mix of avoidant and ambivalent behaviors. Relationships are viewed as risky, and there may be chaotic actions or even personality disorders in severe cases. Over time, individuals with disorganized attachment learn to numb and dissociate from their pain, missing out on security and facing increased adversity. These early experiences deeply influence adult behaviors and reactions, revealing unresolved issues in various aspects of life.