What type of partner are you?

Quiz Questions

• 1.
  Which statement feels most true for you when it comes to your romantic relationship(s)?

  • A.
    Distance between us causes stress or anxiety for me.
  • B.
    I feel smothered by too much closeness or by the neediness of my partner.
  • C.
    None of the above.
• 2.
  When there’s conflict or disconnection between you and your partner, how do you typically react?

  • A.
    Look for validation/reassurance or seek physical closeness.
  • B.
    Pull away or avoid closeness.
  • C.
    None of the above.
• 3.
  Which statement best reflects you?

  • A.
    Sometimes I have difficulty making decisions and fear disappointing people with my decisions.
  • B.
    I tend to have clear ideas about how things should be done and at times can be critical of how others do things.
  • C.
    None of the above.
• 4.
  We all have deep, unconscious fears and beliefs that drive our behaviors. Which feels most true for you?

  • A.
    I sometimes feel helpless in my relationship and like there’s no point in trying.
  • B.
    I hold myself to high standards and would rather not engage in something I can’t be the best at.
  • C.
    None of the above.

Quiz Outcomes

• 1.
  Clinging

  The Clinging adaptation style means you lean more towards anxious or disorganized attachment style. This means your partner may at times experience you as: • Having difficulty self-regulating • Needy of others to be there • Demanding • Hyper-emotional • Tendency to give-in or compromise You often experience your partner as unavailable, unfeeling, or cold.
• 2.
  Detaching

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  The Detaching adaptation style means you lean more towards the avoidant attachment style. What this might look like for you: • Avoiding close contact • Anxious that others will try to get too close, perhaps anticipating painful contact • Can be emotionally flat or hyper-rational • Passive-aggressive withdrawing You have a tendency to experience your partner as demanding or all-consuming.
• 3.
  Distancing

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  Some behaviors/traits of the Distancing or Isolating adaptation style include: • Importance of maintaining personal freedom, space, and autonomy • Tends to limit closeness • Can be oppositional and distancing • Need for control You often experience your partner as insecure, too dependent, needy or smothering.
• 4.
  Pursuing

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  Some behaviors/traits of the Pursuing adaptation style include: • Pursuing and blaming • Complaining and making demands • Need for approval • Self-sabotaging behaviors • At times you feel forgotten and struggle with your partner’s unreliability or lack of support You often experience your partner as distant, neglectful, and having no needs.
• 5.
  Diffuse

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  Some behaviors/traits of the Diffuse adaptation style include: • Don’t know who we are, what we want, what we like, what we think, believe, etc. • Unclear sense of the other – who they are • Unclear sense of similarities with and differences from others • Difficulty making decisions • Desire to please • Submissive, passive-aggressive You often experience partner as domineering or critical.
• 6.
  Rigidly Controlling

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  Some behaviors/traits of the Rigidly Controlling adaptation style include: • Black-and-white thinking • Belief that I know how others should be, act, dress, think, talk, etc. • Put pressure on others to be the way I think they should be • Anxiety about being something other than how I see myself • Domineering, critical of others • Imposes will, takes charge You might experience your partner as scatterbrained or vague.
• 7.
  Strategic Manipulator

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  Some behaviors/traits of the Strategic Manipulator adaptation style include: • Sabotaging, don’t bother trying • Can be manipulative, compromising, helpless in relationship You may see your partner as never satisfied and always having to win/be in charge.
• 8.
  Compulsive Competitor

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  Some behaviors/traits of the Compulsive Competitor adaptation style include: • Chronically disappointed, resentful • Works hard to not give anyone a reason to be disappointed in them • Perfectionism • Won’t engage in something I can’t be the best at • Judgmental, controlling • Critical of partner You tend to experience your partner as manipulative and/or incompetent.
• 9.
  Secure