Exactly how f*cked by the patriarchy are you?

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Quiz Questions

1.
You’ve finally cleared a weekend to work on your book or project. What’s the first thought that crosses your mind?
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- A.
  I’m going to make a list of everything I could get done this weekend, because I could totally also [put mega-list here] as well!
- B.
  I just remembered I was going to help my friend do that thing. She could really do with a hand!
- C.
  I’ll just do a few things off my usual To-Do List to start with. It’ll help me feel like I’m not wasting my time.
- D.
  I’d better make a detailed plan of how I’m going to do this, colour code the time blocks and plan out my snacks so I can focus on my writing!
2.
You sit down to start writing but immediately feel stuck. How do you react?
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- A.
  I could spend some time on that friend’s project, I’ve been meaning to help them out. It could even inspire me!
- B.
  This is so indulgent of me. Maybe I’ll power through tonight instead, after work, the gym and doing dinner and the evening with the kids.
- C.
  I’ll review my plan and reorganise my notes and make sure they’re perfect. Maybe some more planning will give me inspiration.
- D.
  I’ll skip it for now, there’s so much other stuff I could be doing. I’ll get back to it later.
3.
You have to tell someone you’re taking time off from your everyday life to write. How do you approach it?
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- A.
  You tell them you’ll still make sure your team or family are taken care of and that you’ve made them snacks/dinner/treats for while you’re gone.
- B.
  You tell them you’re reachable and available 100% of the time while you’re away, if they need to ask you anything at all.
- C.
  You set up a detailed handover complete with checklists, contingency plans and emergency contacts.
- D.
  You tell them you’ll be able to squeeze some ‘real work’ in while you’re away.
4.
You’re finally getting into the creative flow. What thought derails you?
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- A.
  There is so much other stuff I should be doing right now.
- B.
  I’m so exhausted, but this is finally going well. I’ll just make a list of everything else that needs doing so it’s out of my head.
- C.
  Wait! Have I backed up my files? Oh, I need to organise my folder system so it’s easier to use.
- D.
  There are so many people needing me, I should be helping them right now.
5.
How do you feel about the amount of time it might take to complete your book or project?
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- A.
  It can’t take that long, surely? If I can just fit some regular time in, I’ll get it done, like I do everything else.
- B.
  If you want something done, give it to a busy person! I can fit it in somehow.
- C.
  It feels selfish to take all that time for myself. I need to be available for everyone who needs me.
- D.
  All I need to do is plan my time out right, make a timeline and stick to it, and it’ll happen.

Quiz Outcomes

1.
You are patriarchy's Productivity Queen!
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Exactly how f*cked by patriarchy are you? You scored: DECIDEDLYYou're a whiz at getting things done! **Except for your own book or creative project that seems to be forever on the back burner. If only patriarchy rewarded you with more hours in the day for your own projects.Productivity Queens know how to squeeze the most out of their time, and can fit (just about) anything into their week. Productivity Queens are prone to living by the adage, "If you want something done properly, do it yourself." Patriarchy teaches us that getting things done – for an immediate reward – is productive. We get direct rewards in terms of money (paid work) and indirect rewards in terms of social recognition ("I don't know how you do it!"). Our brains love this, and always want more. But books take ages, and they're not 'productive' in this way. They can feel like a neverending chore that you get no recognition for doing. Having you be a 'human doing' rather than a 'human being' is how patriarchy stops you from achieving your creative goals. Stop sacrificing your creativity + start turning towards yourself.Read on for 3 tips to gently rebel against patriarchy. 3 Tips to gently rebel against the patriarchy1. Understand the structures within which you live. Patriarchy + capitalism have a lot to answer for. Because creativity doesn't serve the systems, the systems don't care if we get time for creativity or not. Writing/creative time isn't valued or rewarded. Action: Remind yourself that your value is not defined by how useful you are to the systems within which you live. 2. Start to make time for yourself to write/create. This might sound obvious, but it can be really hard to do if you're not used to it. Making time that's yours, away from the dragging responsibilities of your life, is a rebellious act. It can be uncomfortable to do this, and you need to prepare for that feeling. Don't run away when it crops up! Action: Start by taking 10 minutes + giving it to yourself to write. Notice how that feels. Book in some more time to make yours, just for your creativity. 3. Surround yourself with support. Most creatives I know work in isolation, and most of them who work in isolation are stuck, or don't make as much progress as they could. Humans are wired for connection - but that doesn't mean you have to connect with just anyone. Action: think of your friends/acquaintances and see if anyone comes to mind who might want to be your creativity buddy. Go with your gut, don't pick someone to ask who you feel might not 'get it'. Ask them if they'd like to do regular check-ins! OR: JOIN THE GENTLE REBELS CLUBThe Gentle Rebels Club: book writing + creativity for the too-busyTake yourself out of the hurry + rush. If writing your book has been on your To-Do List, stressing you out for years, but you've not written it yet there's a good reason. And it's NOT because you're not enough. So often we feel like if we were just better somehow; better at organising ourselves, better at showing up when we said we would, better at committing or following through, that we'd have done the thing by now. But we do all that for everything + everyone else: why can't we do it for ourselves? We feel like if we were better people, it would be easy. That's utter bullshit. Living under patriarchy + capitalism has conditioned you to feel guilty for not achieving things when both those systems don't support exploring your creativity, are thieves of time + instigators of shame. You're not wrting because you're operating under cultural systems that don't support creativity. You're not creating because those same systems don't openly reward creativity. My clients all face the same struggle you do. I know you need to find the time to write, but don’t know how to fit it into an already too-busy life. Frustrated on my struggling clients’ behalf, I started dreaming of creating a space that would support them on their creative path. That's The Gentle Rebels Club. I'll tell you more about it soon!
2.
You are patriarchy's Star Overachiever!
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Exactly how f*cked by patriarchy are you? You scored: EXCEEDINGLYYou’re like a tornado of get-shit-done! As they say, if you want something done, give it to a busy person. This applies to everything in your very busy life – apart from your book + your creative projects. If only you somehow could apply the same get-shit-done overachieving to your dearly-held dreams. Star Overachievers can seemingly bend space and time to get enormous amounts done. This is a skill that patriarchy values, and also doesn’t. Because while doing this at work gets that reward (yay money!), often the same epic achievements go unnoticed outside the work arena. The bad news? Patriarchy doesn’t care how far you stretch, nor if you break. The good news? You can do some gentle rebellion to preserve your sanity + nurture your own creative self. Imagine how it feels to just take a breath, not because you’re fuelling up for the next sprint of getting-shit-done, but because you’re taking 10 minutes for you. Read on for 3 tips to gently rebel against the patriarchy. Stop stretching yourself sixteen ways from Sunday + start turning some time into your own for creativity + self. 3 Tips to gently rebel against the patriarchy1. Understand the structures within which you live. Patriarchy + capitalism have a lot to answer for. Because creativity doesn't serve the systems, the systems don't care if we get time for creativity or not. Writing/creative time isn't valued or rewarded. Action: Remind yourself that your value is not defined by how useful you are to the systems within which you live. 2. Start to make time for yourself to write/create. This might sound obvious, but it can be really hard to do if you're not used to it. Making time that's yours, away from the dragging responsibilities of your life, is a rebellious act. It can be uncomfortable to do this, and you need to prepare for that feeling. Don't run away when it crops up! Action: Start by taking 10 minutes + giving it to yourself to write. Notice how that feels. Book in some more time to make yours, just for your creativity. 3. Surround yourself with support. Most creatives I know work in isolation, and most of them who work in isolation are stuck, or don't make as much progress as they could. Humans are wired for connection - but that doesn't mean you have to connect with just anyone. Action: think of your friends/acquaintances and see if anyone comes to mind who might want to be your creativity buddy. Go with your gut, don't pick someone to ask who you feel might not 'get it'. Ask them if they'd like to do regular check-ins! OR: JOIN THE GENTLE REBELS CLUBThe Gentle Rebels Club: book writing + creativity for the too-busyTake yourself out of the hurry + rush. If writing your book has been on your To-Do List, stressing you out for years, but you've not written it yet there's a good reason. And it's NOT because you're not enough. So often we feel like if we were just better somehow; better at organising ourselves, better at showing up when we said we would, better at committing or following through, that we'd have done the thing by now. But we do all that for everything + everyone else: why can't we do it for ourselves? We feel like if we were better people, it would be easy. That's utter bullshit. Living under patriarchy + capitalism has conditioned you to feel guilty for not achieving things when both those systems don't support exploring your creativity, are thieves of time + instigators of shame. You're not wrting because you're operating under cultural systems that don't support creativity. You're not creating because those same systems don't openly reward creativity. My clients all face the same struggle you do. I know you need to find the time to write, but don’t know how to fit it into an already too-busy life. Frustrated on my struggling clients’ behalf, I started dreaming of creating a space that would support them on their creative path. That's The Gentle Rebels Club. I'll tell you more about it soon!
3.
You are patriarchy's Efficiency Hero!
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Exactly how f*cked by patriarchy are you? You scored: ABSOLUTELYYou are the official timetabling queen! **Except when it comes to blocking time in for your own creativity + writing. Somehow those time blocks always get taken up by something or someone else. It’s not like they don’t need you – they do! But why is it always your own projects that get sidelined? One answer: patriarchy. We’re taught to always put everyone else first, no exceptions, no budging. Efficiency makes you a star performer in the patriarchy: you get SO much packed into your day, and it’s all done in the way that gets the maximum result for minimum output. Achieving like this feels GOOD. But what happens when you have a secret yearning to write a book or do some other creative project? The drive for efficiency can trip you up, because writing a quality book needs formless time, some dreaming ahead of the doing. Dreaming and allowing something to take form isn’t something that we’re rewarded for in patriarchal culture. It doesn’t immediately serve the power structures within which we live, so it’s not valued. When we internalise this concept, it’s very hard to take the time for ourselves and our creativity. You can also get stuck in the planning stage, making plan after plan and tweaking it forever and ever – without getting yourself to the keyboard to actually write the thing. Not giving attention to your writing would be driving you nuts! Read on for 3 tips to gently rebel against the patriarchy + start yourself on the path towards getting your book done. 3 Tips to gently rebel against the patriarchy1. Understand the structures within which you live. Patriarchy + capitalism have a lot to answer for. Because creativity doesn't serve the systems, the systems don't care if we get time for creativity or not. Writing/creative time isn't valued or rewarded. Action: Remind yourself that your value is not defined by how useful you are to the systems within which you live. 2. Start to make time for yourself to write/create. This might sound obvious, but it can be really hard to do if you're not used to it. Making time that's yours, away from the dragging responsibilities of your life, is a rebellious act. It can be uncomfortable to do this, and you need to prepare for that feeling. Don't run away when it crops up! Action: Start by taking 10 minutes + giving it to yourself to write. Notice how that feels. Book in some more time to make yours, just for your creativity. 3. Surround yourself with support. Most creatives I know work in isolation, and most of them who work in isolation are stuck, or don't make as much progress as they could. Humans are wired for connection - but that doesn't mean you have to connect with just anyone. Action: think of your friends/acquaintances and see if anyone comes to mind who might want to be your creativity buddy. Go with your gut, don't pick someone to ask who you feel might not 'get it'. Ask them if they'd like to do regular check-ins! OR: JOIN THE GENTLE REBELS CLUBThe Gentle Rebels Club: book writing + creativity for the too-busyTake yourself out of the hurry + rush. If writing your book has been on your To-Do List, stressing you out for years, but you've not written it yet there's a good reason. And it's NOT because you're not enough. So often we feel like if we were just better somehow; better at organising ourselves, better at showing up when we said we would, better at committing or following through, that we'd have done the thing by now. But we do all that for everything + everyone else: why can't we do it for ourselves? We feel like if we were better people, it would be easy. That's utter bullshit. Living under patriarchy + capitalism has conditioned you to feel guilty for not achieving things when both those systems don't support exploring your creativity, are thieves of time + instigators of shame. You're not wrting because you're operating under cultural systems that don't support creativity. You're not creating because those same systems don't openly reward creativity. My clients all face the same struggle you do. I know you need to find the time to write, but don’t know how to fit it into an already too-busy life. Frustrated on my struggling clients’ behalf, I started dreaming of creating a space that would support them on their creative path. That's The Gentle Rebels Club. I'll tell you more about it soon!
4.
You are patriarchy's Generosity Angel!
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Exactly how f*cked by patriarchy are you? You scored: PROFOUNDLYYou are the legend who people rely on, and the world wouldn’t function without you! You definitely want to write your book and work on that project you dream about, but you’re so busy helping others that any thought towards your own self gets lost in the noise. Patriarchy conditions us to serve others to gain approval. We get this approval in many ways, starting with the most hidden and insidious: an absence of strife. When we serve others and therefore appease them, we keep the peace, and so benefit from our service by having a slightly less stressful environment. Of course, we also benefit through the approval of others, which feels nice, and through perceiving that we fit into the role expected of us by society. Knowing we have a safe place in our community keeps a very old part of our brain happy. However. We aren’t just made up of instincts and brain stem impulses towards safety. We’re humans with dreams, aspirations and a truth that we want to express. (I see you!) The intersection of patriarchal culture with our dreams is where the crunch point usually lies. We’ve been taught to serve and to fit in, but serving and fitting in don’t allow our dreams to blossom. Even if we’re the black sheep of the family, often we’re still hiding ourselves and quieting our voices, one eye on the approval of our families and loved ones. Gently allowing yourself some rebellion time can bring your voice + your dreams to fruition. You don’t have to be loud about it, or even tell anyone. Read on for 3 tips to help you be generous with your own self, in your own gentle rebellion against the patriarchy. 3 Tips to gently rebel against the patriarchy1. Understand the structures within which you live. Patriarchy + capitalism have a lot to answer for. Because creativity doesn't serve the systems, the systems don't care if we get time for creativity or not. Writing/creative time isn't valued or rewarded. Action: Remind yourself that your value is not defined by how useful you are to the systems within which you live. 2. Start to make time for yourself to write/create. This might sound obvious, but it can be really hard to do if you're not used to it. Making time that's yours, away from the dragging responsibilities of your life, is a rebellious act. It can be uncomfortable to do this, and you need to prepare for that feeling. Don't run away when it crops up! Action: Start by taking 10 minutes + giving it to yourself to write. Notice how that feels. Book in some more time to make yours, just for your creativity. 3. Surround yourself with support. Most creatives I know work in isolation, and most of them who work in isolation are stuck, or don't make as much progress as they could. Humans are wired for connection - but that doesn't mean you have to connect with just anyone. Action: think of your friends/acquaintances and see if anyone comes to mind who might want to be your creativity buddy. Go with your gut, don't pick someone to ask who you feel might not 'get it'. Ask them if they'd like to do regular check-ins! OR: JOIN THE GENTLE REBELS CLUBThe Gentle Rebels Club: book writing + creativity for the too-busyTake yourself out of the hurry + rush. If writing your book has been on your To-Do List, stressing you out for years, but you've not written it yet there's a good reason. And it's NOT because you're not enough. So often we feel like if we were just better somehow; better at organising ourselves, better at showing up when we said we would, better at committing or following through, that we'd have done the thing by now. But we do all that for everything + everyone else: why can't we do it for ourselves? We feel like if we were better people, it would be easy. That's utter bullshit. Living under patriarchy + capitalism has conditioned you to feel guilty for not achieving things when both those systems don't support exploring your creativity, are thieves of time + instigators of shame. You're not wrting because you're operating under cultural systems that don't support creativity. You're not creating because those same systems don't openly reward creativity. My clients all face the same struggle you do. I know you need to find the time to write, but don’t know how to fit it into an already too-busy life. Frustrated on my struggling clients’ behalf, I started dreaming of creating a space that would support them on their creative path. That's The Gentle Rebels Club. I'll tell you more about it soon!